ENGLAND — It’s a gold digger’s dream: an 85-year-old billionaire in search of a beautiful young wife to whom he can leave his multitude of cash and prizes. Alas for Kristin Hardy, her fantasy marriage has turned into a nightmare because the old bastard actually wants to have sex with her. A lot.Single mother Kristin Hardy has filed for divorce from wealthy husband Joe after a mere three months worth of marital bliss and the reason is sexual.

“He wanted sex almost all the time, but I’m just not that sort of girl” insisted the presumably celibate even after marriage 22-year-old bride to the media. “And Joe used to get very frustrated as I had to keep saying no to him.”

According to Kristin, it wasn’t just that her husband wanted a bit of rumpy-pumpy during what should have been the blissed out literally honeymoon phase of their relationship. It’s that he wanted interesting sex.

“I just could not believe what he wanted me to do,” she confided. “He’d lean over while we were watching TV and grope me. That not how married couples behave.”

Right.

Married couples ignore each other most of the time and zone out in front of the television until they’re too tired for sex.

Why Kristin was surprised by requests to honor her marital obligations is a bit unknown, given that Joe apparently presented her with a list of activities he expected his third and presumably last wife to engage in with him.

Among them were frequent French kisses and boob gropes, as well as the wearing of sexy lingerie inside the house. Horror of horrors.

The blonde mother of a four-year-old by a previous relationship allegedly fell for the well-known and wealthy octogenarian two years ago while employed at his luxury hotel in Farmington, PA.

At the time, Kristin was making little money as a manicurist and living with her mother. The attention of the bootstrap billionaire and father of seven with a mansion and two private jets was apparently quite intoxicating.

After leaving the girl a $100 tip after a manicure, the elder Hardy asked for his employee’s phone number and the rest soon became history, with him calling her the next day to ask her if she had a Passport and could travel. Soon the love birds were lunching and spending money on shopping sprees, including a brand new silver Porsche.

Kristin assures those who think she might have had dollar signs in her eyes that such was not the case. “Like everyone around the town, I knew he was very rich, but money has never really interested me. When we’d go shopping and I’d see a handbag or pair of shoes, he’d tell me to buy two or three.”

Further confusing the matter is Kristin’s insistence that Joe “had the energy of someone 40 years younger.”

In fact, so energetic was her suitor that Kristin described him as “always flying off on his private jet. It was so exhausting!”

It seems hardly a shock that such a high energy man might also still have a libido to feed.

Less than a month after their first date, Joe presented self-proclaimed non-gold-digger Kristin with a three-and-a-half carat emerald cut diamond. Alas, the presentation was not up to her standards, given that “He just handed me the ring and said ‘here ya are.’”

Nonetheless, madly in love with the jet-setting elder, Kristin agreed to sign a pre-num to prove that it wasn’t his money she was hot for.

Unfortunately for Joe, it also wasn’t his body.

After a lavish Las Vegas Wynn Hotel wedding in 2007 and honeymoon in Europe that includes two of his children, several of his friends and one of hers as companions, the uncomfortable reality of Kristin’s newfound wealth began to hit her hard. Joe’s affection for Viagra apparently hit her even harder, so to speak.

“There were nights when I would have to get up and go and see to my son, who was then just two, and Joe hated that,” Kristin complained. “He also disliked me wearing pajamas – he called them my ‘army fatigues.’”

Joe’s idea of appropriate bed wear ran more along the lines of sexy lingerie. When out in public, he liked his wife to “look like a million dollars.” Neither mode of dress sat well with his new wife, who says that she now realizes that she was “his trophy wife.”

So distraught by wealth and a sexually active husband was the new bride that she took up smoking and claims that her hair began to fall out and her skin to break out in rashes. But the real torment began when her husband urged her to get a full-time nanny for her son.

She promptly moved back in with her mother – and received a list of sexual demands from Joe, who insisted that things had to change if she wanted to return.

“Joe said I never allowed him a ‘feel of a tit,’ our sex life was ‘non-existent’ and that would have to change,” Kristin recounted. “But the breaking point was him demanding again that a nanny look after Matthew so I could spend more time with him.”

But Kristin remained strong, explaining that, “My son meant more to me than anything. You could keep all the designer handbags, shoes and dresses. I just wasn’t interested and refused to go back.”

It must have been a marriage for love on her side, given that the divorce Joe applied for a few weeks later on the grounds of irreconcilable differences left her nothing, thanks to the pre-nup.

She did get to keep her Porsche, however.