GRAND RAPIDS, MI — It’s unlikely that XXXChurch.com’s “Porn and Pancakes” billboard is telling the truth when it suggests that porn will be available during its December 2nd conversion soiree. Whether it will include the equally promised pancakes won’t be known until the event takes place.In order to drive the sweetened carbohydrate and eye candy hungry to its breakfast table, the obsessively anti-porn XXXChurch has purchased a billboard that passers-by have a difficult time ignoring, regardless of which side of the porn issue they take — or whether they even have a side or are old enough to know such an issue exists.

The billboard, located at 28th Street and Madison in south west Grand Rapids, MI doesn’t have much to say for itself, other than the name of the upcoming event, its two dates (the confirmed December 2nd and an anticipated February 24th), and a recommendation that those seeking more info or tickets visit the XXXChurch website.

A visit to the website reveals pretty much the same information, with the addition of a video clip containing local news coverage — which says pretty much the same thing, with the addition of a quote from erstwhile industry antagonist and self-proclaimed “Porn Pastor,” Craig Gross, who assures viewers that “It’s very destructive, it’s very progressive, pornography will take you down a path you wish you didn’t go down.”

Poor grammar aside, Ross and his ministry hope that their December 2nd Ada Bible Church offer of flapjacks and a stern lecture will attract porn hounds eager to get good with the Lord by eschewing their previously pornographic ways. According to local news source WZZM 13’s website, the event has somehow managed to pre-sell 300 tickets. It does not say whether those tickets have gone to genuine porn lovers who feel they may have a problem or to local area ministers and their sympathetic flock.

In addition to suggestions about how the porn “addicted” can begin their road to recovery, information about XXXChurch’s touring ministry events, and examples of its controversial and media-hip recruitment efforts, the site features links to anti-porn news articles, one of which includes the observation that the recent life imprisonment of a Chinese adult website owner is an example of that country “Not Taking Any Crap!”

According to XXXChurch, a 28-year-old man spending the rest of his life in a Chinese prison is just one more sign that “things are going well” in the fight against pornography.

Afternoon email to XXXChurch.com requesting additional information about cost, time, and ticket availability had no response by press time.

UPDATE: According to email received from Craig Gross on November 29th, the December 2nd Porn and Pancakes event is sold out. He says that when they were available (however it was that they were available), tickets were $8. Gross encourages porn lovers to remember that the next event will be on February 24th and that National Porn Sunday is October 7th, 2007. He thanks YNOT for the coverage and recommends PornAndPancakes.com and PornSunday.com for further information.