World Cup a Prime Excuse for Avoiding Sex
By Peter Berton
PARSIPPANY, NJ – Given the choice between watching the FIFA World Cup and having sex, 40 percent of men would turn down sex. That’s the conclusion condom manufacturer Durex reached after surveying 2,000 men in the UK.
That’s not all: 42 percent of survey participants admitted they would rush through intercourse in order to get back to the games as soon as possible. Another 37 percent said they would give in to a partner’s request for sex as long as the TV was on and they could see the screen during the act.
Twenty-five percent of those surveyed admitted they thought about soccer during sex. [Ed.: The statistic gives a whole new meaning to the term “balling.”]
“Excitement levels for football [soccer in the U.S.] fans across the globe are reaching fever pitch, and for some, the passion they feel for the beautiful game is on a par with, if not greater than, that for their partner,” a Durex spokesperson said.
The spokesperson added a warning to soccer-crazed men: “They need to ensure that once those 90 minutes [of match time] are up, all attention is redirected solely to their loved one. Otherwise there may be penalties.”
Using data from the survey, Durex compiled the top 10 excuses men use to avoid sex:
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The brand name Durex was trademarked in 1929 by the London Rubber Company. The name is an acronym for “DUrability, Reliability and Excellence.”
Not that men care, evidently, during major international sporting events.