ENGLAND — If court reports are correct, 48-year-old Caroline Cartwright really enjoys having sex with her husband. In fact, she enjoys having sex with her husband so much that everyone who lives near the couple knows how much she likes it – and exactly when she’s in the process of liking it.For the first time in a long time, Cartwright’s sleep-deprived neighbors have been able to enjoy multiple REM sessions.

Why?

Because the sex-crazed vixen was in the lock-up.

While the occasional noisy sex session can certainly be forgiven, Cartwright’s loudly broadcast enthusiasm for her husband’s prowess had become such a regular soundtrack for others in her neighborhood that she was presented with a four-year anti-social behavior order and a $780 fine on April 17th.

The order requires that Cartwright abstain from “making excessive noise” anywhere in England, including knocking, shouting, screaming, or making other vocal noises that can be heard outside of her home. She is also forbid from playing music too loudly.

Alas for the rule of law and the sweet slumber of her neighbors, Cartwright’s behavior resulted in arrests on April 18th, April 22nd and again on April 26th after police received complaints that Cartwright and husband Steve were at it again.

Defiant, she acknowledged in court that she engages in early morning love making, but insisted that she has no intention of changing her behavior. “I’m not going to stop,” she promised. “I’ve been making the same noises since the Asbo was imposed and this morning we were making noises for three hours.”

As far as Cartwright is concerned, the entire issue is ridiculous and she plans to fight the order.

“I can’t stop making noise during sex, it’s unnatural to not make any noises – and I don’t think I’m particularly loud.”

Her neighbors disagree, including a partially deaf neighbor who complained that she had not had a decent night’s sleep in two years. Prosecutor Claire Ward explained that police received complaints about shouting, moaning, groaning and the sound of a bed slamming against a wall on three different days. Recordings placed by environmental health officers revealed 23 incidents of what Pamela Spark called “an excessive screaming female voice.”

Cartwright entered a not guilty plea, but was handed a 10-day jail sentence – which ended on May 5th, at which time she was ordered to appear via video link before the Sunderland Magistrates’ Court.

Although one neighbor indicated that “It wasn’t just the woman, it came from both parties,” Steve Cartwright was not charged. Chances are good that both he and his now-released wife are pretty horny about now, though.