Wireless Vibrator Banned for National Security Reasons
CYPRUS — Although known by some as the “Island of Aphrodite,” visitors to Cyprus who bring along their wireless vibrators to enhance their travels may find that worshipping at the temple of love will have to be done via more traditional means – in order to preserve the national security of the popular Mediterranean vacation destination.According to British sex toy company Ann Summers, its tiny silver vibrating egg, called the Love Bug, has been deemed a threat to military broadcasting frequencies and is not being allowed into the country.
Ann Summers’ website describes the remote controlled pleasure device as “deceptively powerful,” a warning the Cyprian government has apparently taken to heart, in spite of assurances that the device’s influence only extends a wee bit beyond six and a half yards.
Unfortunately, it’s not certain who made the decision to keep the egg out of the country.
“We are very surprised,” an official from the Communication and Works Ministry admits. “These products should circulate without restriction. There is market surveillance to see if they comply with the regulations… we have seen nothing about these toys. Nothing went through the Ministry on that.”
Further, the official insists that Small Range Devices (SRD) such as the Love Bug are under no special regulations on Cyprus, since they operate on a “non interference no protection basis.”
Nonetheless, a company rep insists that fears about disruptions to the military’s radio signals thanks to the private sexual antics of Cyprian or visiting women have been cited as the reason the Love Bug is unwelcome on the island. Exactly who communicated that information to the company, however, is unknown.
To make sure the message is understood by prospective buyers, the Ann Summers website includes the disclaimer, “Not for use in Cyprus.”
Meanwhile, other EU countries continue to use both their Love Bugs and their military broadcasting frequencies without reported incident.