RUSSIA — Merrill Lynch may get bullish on America, but the Russian Mass Media, Communications and Cultural Protection Service has plans to become exceptionally bearish about domestic Wi-Fi. The recently formed regulatory agency, known as Rossvyazokhrankultura to locals, was formed for precisely the opposite reason that other agencies exist in other countries – in order toe ensure that the country’s Wi-Fi communications remain under tight control of the government.

Perhaps most intimidating of all the agencies regulatory policies is news agency Fontanka’s report that Rossvayazokhrankultra’s insistence that every Wi-Fi device and hotspot be registered with the government.

The agency contends that current law requires that anyone using electronics with a frequency range within the Wi-Fi spectrum be registered, according to Vladimir Karpov, deputy director for the agency’s communications monitoring division, as quoted on TheOtherRussia.com.

This requirement doesn’t end with public hotspots, however – it extends into the homes, automobiles, and both private and professional lives of anyone within the country. Indeed, it won’t be only the Russian equivalent of Starbucks filing paperwork, but anyone who has a home network, laptop, smart phone, or Wi-Fi-enabled PDA.

Once registered, only the device’s owner is authorized to use the bandwidth.

Rossvyazokhrankultura is the result of two media and communication controlling agencies recently merged into one, with considerable confusion erupting as a result, according to anonymous IT accounts. Part of the confusion stems from the fact that government rulings in 2004 and 2007 each made a spectrum-related exception for Wi-Fi devices.

Adding to the confusion and workload of the organization is the fact that it now governs not only the monitoring of communications and the allocation of radio frequencies, but also the registration of mass-media outlets – all while maintaining control of personal data compliance and protecting cultural patrimony. And that’s not all it does.

While it’s doing all of those things, the wheels of what passes for justice move slowly, indeed. Registration for a personal device can take 10 days, while registration for a hotspot – including a home network – includes copious documentation and technological certification.

In case that’s not time-consuming enough, networks located in Moscow or St. Petersburg also require the approval of two federal agencies.

Not surprisingly, some of the only individuals enthusiastically taking to the Wi-Fi waves are those with criminal intent. Sophos declared Russia to be a “spam superpower” in February, given the enormous increase in such activity during the past year. It now sits behind the United States in the production and distribution of spam.

Lest the rest of the world think that spam is all the Russian Web-waves are good for, it is important to remember that it also exports malware and exploits – both supported by supposedly out-of-commission-as-of-November, Russian Business Network.