When to Listen … and When to Hear
By M.Christian
YNOT – Stick with me: This may be a long and winding road, but the destination is a very important one … especially for people struggling with the ups and downs of running an adult enterprise.
The epiphany started, at least for me, with a rather bizarre announcement from GOProud Chairman Christopher Barron:
Ann Coulter is a brilliant and fearless leader of the conservative movement; we are honored to have her as part of GOProud’s leadership. Ann helped put our organization on the map. Politics is full of the meek, the compromising and the apologists. Ann, like GOProud, is the exact opposite of all of these things. We need more Ann Coulters.
Although this sounds like nothing more than additional babble from yet another conservative mouthpiece, what pushes Barron’s words into — actually, way beyond — the bizarre, the odd, the weird, the fucking strange, is that GOProud is a conservative organization composed primarily of homosexuals. Adding to the utterly surreal nature of the announcement is that Coulter’s role in the group will be as honorary chair of its advisory council.
She’s been given the official title “Gay Icon.”
I have no idea how Coulter’s appointment came about — although I must admit a certain train-wreck curiosity about what bad-ass craziness went on behind the scenes — but the announcement agitated a problem that has been tickling the back of my brain.
How Coulter came to be labeled a gay icon by a gay Republican group (insert sound of head exploding here) is a mystery, but it doesn’t take a huge leap of speculation to go from A to B to C to whatthefuck?
My guess? The internet played a part. The information superhighway has changed the rules of engagement for decision-makers and policy-influencers. Group dynamics pre-internet weren’t necessarily better or worse than they are now, but — for lack of a better phrase — they were more stable; less likely to seem schizophrenic. Decision-makers weren’t pushed and pulled this way and that by a hailstorm of often-conflicting and never-subtle public opinions. That a gay Republican group would name a vicious, zealously anti-gay bigot like Coulter a “gay icon” is just one example of what seems to be appearing far too often lately: fear-driven mob rule.
While it’s important to listen to what people say, it’s also important to know when not to listen. Say you’re part of a gay political organization, and you’re determined to make a mark on the landscape. You have business interests and family ties and maybe even a little wealth to protect, and you disagree with some of the more revolutionary rhetoric coming from the ultra-liberal gay element. Admittedly, your sexual orientation puts you at odds with mainstream Republicans, so you turn to the members of your organization and ask, again and again, “How do we get the rest of the party to take us seriously?”
And after all that crowd-sourcing, what you end up with is Ann Coulter.
In business, even the adult business, the same sort of thing happens more often than one might imagine: The moment profits dip — or even fluctuate — owners start second-guessing their own expertise and experience, twisting in ever-tighter circles as they try to please everyone … and so end up pleasing no one.
While it is important to hear what customers want and then work to give it to them, it is essential to know when not to listen. For example, if you were faced with a choice of increasing your fees or dropping a popular but expensive-to-make product, which would you do — especially if your customers were guaranteed to berate you in public no matter which way you decided to go?
I once worked for a company that waived any client’s bill at the first hint of a complaint — even if the alleged problem was due to client error. While taking that approach once or twice per client reads as a gesture of goodwill, allowing the same client to pull the same trick over and over again in the hope the company eventually will make money reads more like a roadmap for disaster. Oddly, the dissatisfied clients never became dissatisfied enough to seek another source for the product, although plenty of other sources were available. And why would they? They were getting exactly what they wanted for free simply because they had the balls to intimidate the supplier. People learn very quickly how effective a loud mouth can be.
In the end the business sank, painfully, partly because management was listening when it should have been hearing and thinking.
Businesses and governments should listen to their constituents; their customers. Far too often, though, they demonstrate the old axiom “the squeaky wheel gets the grease,” to everyone’s disservice. Those in power listen to the Ann Coulters of the world because their voices are loudest … completely forgetting to hear what the loudmouths are saying. If they heard, they’d quickly learn they were listening to garbage.
Of course it’s important to pay attention to what your customers, clients, constituents or members are saying. It’s equally important to know when not to listen … to trust in yourself and your vision. Sure, GOProud got some attention by naming its worst nightmare to its advisory council and by bestowing upon her a lofty, if laughable, title. The attention was anything but positive, however, and it’s been fleeting. The move was a mistake.
Think about that the next time you’re tempted to let the mob to rule you.
M.Christian is a YNOT.com contributing editor and an author of literary erotica that blends the spectrum of sexual preferences and desires with horror and science fiction. Want to get in touch? Email him.