Voters Weighing Latest Porn Endorsements
AMES, Iowa – With the Iowa caucus only days away, undecided voters have cast their eyes and ears westward, seeking counsel from one of the country’s most respected and influential groups of American political stakeholders: the men, women and transgender individuals of the adult entertainment industry.
Previous porn endorsements for the 2016 presidential election included Jenna Jameson’s strong backing of Republican Marco Rubio, Larry Flynt chiming in for Democrat Hillary Clinton and Marey Carey saying she’s torn between Rubio and fellow Republican Jeb Bush.
Speaking to media at the recent AVN Adult Entertainment Expo, many performers expressed a strong preference for anti-establishment Democratic candidate Bernie Sanders, an alleged socialist and long-term veteran of the U.S. Senate who originally was carried into office largely on the strength of an endorsement from then-President Grover Cleveland.
While other candidates received some support, including producer/director Juan “Hombre de Culo” Estaglio’s nod for Libertarian Gary Johnson and a general endorsement for any non-Republican from esteemed attorney and former New York Knicks point guard Walter “Clyde” DeFrazier, Sanders appears to be emerging as the porn industry’s candidate of choice.
While many Iowans aren’t likely to give much weight to political feedback from porn stars, the impact of these endorsements “are underestimated at a candidate’s peril,” according to Dennis Lawrence, a professor of political science at the ATM Learning Institute and senior political analyst for ABCBSTMZSPAN Latino-2.
“In focus groups we’ve conducted, porn stars were rated both more trustworthy and more likable than personal injury attorneys, cosmetic surgeons, used car salesmen and employees of the IRS combined,” Lawrence said. “Sure, they aren’t as respected as stand-up comics, heavy-metal drummers or elite intellectuals like Steve Doocy from Fox and Friends, but they’re still held in high regard, especially when it comes to their detailed knowledge of politics and major public policy challenges.”
Whatever their qualifications, porn stars often are considered more trustworthy by Iowans than the politicians they endorse, according to Cyrus Newbold, a welder from the Davenport area.
“Politicians talk a lot about ‘transparency,’ but when it comes to actually showing us anything about themselves, they’re always ducking and dodging, trying to avoid being tied down,” Newbold said. “With porn stars, the whole reason we know about them is they share their most intimate secrets with us, like what it looks like deep inside their rectums. And when it comes to trying to avoid being tied down, porn stars are exactly the opposite — the ones who work for Kink.com, in particular.”
Norman Culver, a long-haul trucker from Algona, said he’s “still on the fence” about who to vote for, despite having the opinions of several porn stars to consider.
“Normally, I’m not into chicks with tattoos all over the place, but I’ve recently gotten really into Joanna Angel, and I know she’s a Sanders girl,” Culver said. “On the other hand, my all-time favorite is Jenna Jameson, and she’s backing the one feller whose dad was a bartender. Ruben Macro, I think, is his name. I’m in a real dilly of a pickle as a voter here — and it might get even worse if it turns out Veronica Avluv is a Trump backer, or Riley Reid comes out strong for Ted Cruz.”
Representatives of campaigns that have not received porn star endorsements, meanwhile, are downplaying the significance of Sanders’s popularity in the industry — and taking the opportunity to denounce Sanders himself.
“Given his penchant for promising on the ‘box cover’ of his candidacy what the actual content of his eventual presidency would certainly lack, it’s no surprise Bernie Sanders has the support of the porn industry,” said Katarina Pierce, spokeswoman for the campaign of Beryl Langston Larrabee, a lesser-known Republican candidate who currently is polling at just under 0.05 percent in Iowa. “Just as pornographers will promote as ‘exclusive’ or ‘new’ a compilation of existing scenes featuring a popular performer, Sanders doesn’t hesitate to promise the moon when he knows the prospective federal budget won’t even allow for a fact-finding trip to one of Donald Trump’s Scottish golf courses.”
While Pierce may be skeptical of the significance of porn endorsements, balding, skeletal and famously folksy Democratic strategist Chester “Jim Bob” Cavanaugh concurred with Lawrence, saying such endorsements could be “the final drop of sweet honey that brings out the left-leaning Democratic ants to the polls.”
Still, Cavanaugh said, Sanders must be cautious about too closely associating with the controversial porn industry, citing an obscure colloquialism he learned from his mother during his childhood in the Louisiana bayou.
“Like my mama always used to say: ‘Jimmy my boy, you can’t hunt woodpeckers with a busted shovel,’” Cavanaugh said. “To be honest, I ain’t got the foggiest notion what it means, but it sure sounds like a nice little nugget of homespun wisdom, don’t it?”