You know how Netflix and other streaming platforms sometimes offer algorithmically compiled lists of shows “popular in your area” or “top ten in your state” or “best 385 movies set in your state featuring Kevin Hart”? Well, they’ve never offered insight like this: Clips4Sale’s “The United States of Fetish” map for 2024.

The map lays out the most-searched fetishes and terms for each U.S. state, according to Clips4Sale data. According to C4S (an abbreviation I constantly typo-mangle as “C$S,” btw), “’Giantess’ fantasies are the most searched for fetish in the United States, for the second year in a row.” Per C4S, Giantess was the most-searched term in my home state of Arizona, along with Indiana, New York, New Jersey, Tennessee and the District of Columbia.

I’m not well versed in the culture of all these places, but I’m going to go out on a limb and say interest in giantesses is one of the very few things Arizona and D.C. have in common. Another is that both places have to put up with Andy Biggs hanging around a lot. This could explain the mutual interest in giantesses, come to think of it; maybe people in both locales are spending a lot of time fantasizing about a giant woman lurching up to Biggs and snapping his neck like a breadstick? I know I will be, now.

In terms of other matching interests between states, Idaho and Virginia are both states in which the top-searched fetish is “farts.” This makes me wonder a couple things: (1) Do potatoes make people gassy? And (2) Do they grow potatoes in Virginia, or does tobacco also make people gassy? Or maybe it’s the opposite – the interest in farts as a fetish is driven by people in Idaho and Virginia farting less, and the ‘absence of smell makes the nose grow fonder,’ so to speak?

Tickling is big in Texas and Florida, which tempts one to think it’s a Red State thing – except then you notice tickling is also big in swing state Pennsylvania, as well as in deep blue Washington. Perhaps tickling is a truly bipartisan fetish, kind of like endlessly borrowing money against the earnings of future generations, quickly compiling a debt it will be impossible to ever pay down?

There are some terms that finished in the top slot in just one state, as well, like “CPR,” the most searched fetish in Wyoming. This raises more questions. Are we sure these people were looking for titillation, not just accidentally using the C4S search function when trying to Google lifesaving techniques while Uncle Fred grasped at his chest after Thanksgiving dinner? Did not enough people in Wyoming fantasize about giantesses eating Dick Cheney to drive that term to the top? What came in second, “Heimlich maneuver”?

As you can plainly see, this map raises as many questions as it answers. Or maybe it’s just me? Either way, it makes for fun viewing and amateur armchair analysis. You can check it out for yourself now, on the C4S blog.