If you plan to operate an adult site with your spouse or partner, you would be wise to first spend some time anticipating what emotional problems might arise and how those problems would best be addressed. Many amateurs simply jump into their new venture with blind enthusiasm, but Chef Jeff says that approach can prove fatal even to strong relationships. Here are some thoughts about operating an amateur porn site with your spouse or partner.If you plan to operate an adult site with your spouse or partner, you would be wise to first spend some time anticipating what emotional problems might arise and how those problems would best be addressed. Many amateurs simply jump into their new venture with blind enthusiasm, but Chef Jeff says that approach can prove fatal even to strong relationships. Here are some thoughts about operating an amateur porn site with your spouse or partner.

The vast majority of amateur pay sites are run either by husband and wife or boyfriend and girlfriend teams. The prospect of owning and operating an adult site is certainly very exciting and titillating, however many couples fail to discuss the possible emotional risks and consequences of working together in a sex-related industry.

This is going to be so much fun.

Anticipation of only positives is the typical motto and attitude in which couples often drown themselves. Couples may want to sit down and discuss all the possible downsides of running an adult Web site together before embarking on a voyage that can be marked with treacherous waters.

We are going to make bank!

Many couples decide to open adult sites for the pure enjoyment of it, to express their sexuality and/or simply just to have fun and spice up their sex lives. Other couples get into it for the chance to make some money with an online adult business. Those who have the luxury of choosing the former are the lucky ones indeed. They have no expectations and no pressure to turn a profit with their adult business, and their adult business may have no negative impact on their relationship whatsoever. But when you throw money into the mix, it changes everything. Pressure and stress can destroy even the strongest bonds of love and commitment.

Remember that a single amateur pay site may not be profitable for anywhere from six months to a year or even longer. Many Web models begin to get frustrated and lose patience after a few months with little to no income as a result of the site. This frustration can lead to arguments and unnecessary stress on your personal life. Do not let the lack of income affect your personal life. Put pleasure first, have a good time with the sexual nature of the business, and have some fun. In time the results will come, but do not make earning income a priority at the expense of your relationship.

WORKING TOGETHER

Working together with your partner in an adult business poses many challenges. Working with your partner may be completely alien to many couples, and they enter into it unequipped to deal with the bumps in the road that they are sure to run over. Spend some time talking about what responsibilities each of you will have. Understand that there will be differences of opinion and that there may be some friction along the way. How you deal with the problems that arise from running an adult business can make or break not only your business, but your relationship as well. One of the biggest mistakes that I made in the early stages of our adult business was being too pushy. I let my drive for success take precedent over my responsibility as a husband. We needed content, and lots of it. We made arrangements to meet some other couples that had adult sites, and I was anxious to compile as many photos and videos as possible in the shortest amount of time. I failed to take into consideration my wife’s opinions, wants and desires, justifying my zeal in terms of budget and expense rather than attitude and feelings. By putting my wife’s feelings on the back burner and “pushing” her to do photo shoots without first consulting her opinion, I failed miserably as a husband and even more so as a co-worker and friend.

Now when we plan a weekend with another Web couple or Web girl, we do not make photo shoots a priority. Rather, we enjoy just spending time with the great people that are in this business. If the girls are in the mood to have some pictures taken, then we break out the cameras, but I no longer “push” the idea on the girls. It’s not worth the emotional cost to put content in front of a relationship. You’ll find that maintaining comfortable and enjoyable long-term relationships with other web couples will result in more photos and better photos, and you’ll have a much better time doing it.

CREATIVE DIFFERENCES

There can be relationship problems during the design of the site; couples can butt heads over the type of content that will be depicted on the site, how the site will look, etc. Struggle for creative control can also lead to strain on your relationship.

When it comes to the content of the photo shoots I suggest letting the model(s) have complete creative control. The model should be the one deciding what to wear, what will be shown, etc. Since it is the model’s image that is portrayed on the Web, it should be up to her to make those types of decisions. It’s not like a professional shoot where the model is being paid to do what the photographer wants. This is a join venture that requires a lot of give and take. If you want to take nude photos of Web girls, you have to let them be in charge of what will be shown. Your partner will enjoy the shoots more and your photos will come out better. Let the girls choose the outfits, the location and the action. Do not try to “direct” the shoot as this takes away that amateur element that makes our sites so unique. It’s also not a lot of fun for the girls when three guys are telling them what to do.

CONCLUSION

Women have a much more difficult time separating work (i.e. sex for the Web site, nude photo shoots) from a personal sex life. If there is resentment and anger as a result of working in a sex-related industry, for whatever reason, then that anger and resentment inevitably carries over into the personal life. Men can usually separate the two very easily. Meaning one minute he can be very pushy and controlling in a photo shoot situation for business reasons, and the next minute expect some sex from his wife or partner for personal reasons.

I feel that the men, for the most part, carry the most responsibility for making adjustments and compromises when it comes to learning to work together with a spouse or partner in an adult-related sex business. Men are generally more dominant and controlling and thus in a position to inflict the most emotional damage. Working together means compromising; it means being unselfish, and in the sex industry it means knowing that work and real life are in fact connected. You should treat your spouse/partner with the same respect that you do in your personal life.

I suggest leaving the cameras at home and relax more often. Make time to talk about any problems and work them out before the resentment and anger overwhelm you. Let the models control the photo shoots, and for God’s sake stop trying to be a director… this is amateur porn.

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Chef Jeff is editor of TheAmateurVoice.com, and is a regular contributor to The ADULTWEBMASTER Magazine’s Amateur Corner.