LOS ANGELES, CA — Those with an eclectic taste in erotic entertainment know that “the long and short of it” doesn’t necessarily refer to penis length; sometimes the size that matters is the height of the performers. That’s certainly the case in the latest celebrity sex tape to provide a much-needed boost to at least one of its stars. The newest on-again/off-again celebrity to have his gonads grace the internet is none other than Verne Troyer, better known as Austin Powers’ diminutive arch-nemesis, “Mini Me.”“Mr. Troyer is extremely distraught by the recent exploitation of his private life,” publicist Melissa Bergera told the AP via a written statement.

Allegedly stolen from Troyer’s home several months ago, the tape has invariably surfaced, with a 25-second clip showing the tiny performer kissing Ranae Shrider, his then-girlfriend, briefly appearing on the TMZ website. A temporary restraining order granted by a federal judge expires on July 7th but did manage to briefly remove the footage.

According to Troyer, the tape was made for personal enjoyment and was never intended for mass distribution. TMZ estimates that the tape could make as much as $100,000 from interested distribution companies. Given that SugarDVD has stated on its website that it hopes to work a deal with Troyer that will permit the company to distribute and take orders for the 50-minute sextravaganza.

While that may eventually come to pass, Troyer is not yet convinced and has filed a lawsuit demanding $20 million in damages, return of all copies of the tape, and barring SugarDVD from profiting from it.

Also named in the suit is Kevin Blatt, known within the adult entertainment industry as “KB.” Although he denies ever having had physical contact with a copy of the tape, he admits to having helped try to broker a deal for it.

While some of his legal eagles say “no, no” others are busily registering the tape’s copyright, in an attempt to demonstrate a legal right to its content.

Although some might think that the sex tape would do wonders for Troyer’s otherwise tepid career, U.S. District Judge Philip Gutierrez wrote that Troyer had “demonstrated that he will suffer irreparable harm this reputation” if the tape moves into mass circulation.

Ironically, as Troyer cries foul over the idea of his naked and thrusting body being seen by the masses, his ex-sweetheart is busily signing release papers. According to Shrider, not only was the footage shot on her video camera, but she has a right to do what she wants with it – including show it on the TMZ website.

In response to her willingness to share the tape with TMZ, the restraining order has been revoked. Can VOD be far behind?

Those hoping to catch a glimpse of their favorite mainstream midget performer tongue kissing his ex-girlfriend can do so by visiting: http://www.tmz.com/2008/06/25/mini-me-sex-tape-avert-your-eyes/