Starbucks has announced that it will block porn on its store-provided public wifi in 2019.

Apparently, Starbucks has caught much flak for not preventing its customers from watching porn in stores via their wifi for years now – but no longer! According to The Verge, Starbucks will introduce a filter that puts a stop to all that public porno viewing in the new year.

Starbucks stated to The Verge, “While it rarely occurs, the use of Starbucks public Wi-Fi to view illegal or egregious content is not, nor has it ever been, permitted…”

Well, no shit – illegal content, egregious or otherwise, on the internet is not allowed to be viewed anywhere, much less over a venti mocha while adjacent to some poor sucker recruiting drivers for a ride share company. Porn, however, is not illegal sooo..?

Starbucks’ statement continued: “We have identified a solution to prevent this content from being viewed within our stores, and we will begin introducing it to our U.S. locations in 2019.” They didn’t provide The Verge with any specific details regarding the service they chose or what will be filtered.

As such, the standard questions apply:

1. Who even does this, watches porn for sexy purposes in Starbucks?

2. What counts as porn? What are the guidelines?

3. Who determines said guidelines?

4. Finally, what if you’re looking at porn for work purposes, which I do basically every time I hang out in a Starbucks?

All I can say is thank goodness I recently upgraded to unlimited data and can use my phone as a personal hotspot anywhere — even Starbucks. Only now, I’m no longer gonna try to turn my screen and be coy about it. Get ready for righteously indignant blasts of hardcore in your lounging lobbies, SBUX! (I guarantee won’t be the only one.)

The Verge went on to reveal more about what Starbucks’ actual issue may be — pressure from the uninformed, the misinformed and those plagued by false equivalencies.

Apparently, earlier this week, “internet safety organization” Enough Is Enough CEO Donna Rice Hughes said Starbucks had failed to protect its customers and follow through with its previously stated plan to block explicit content. You see, back in 2016, McDonald’s, who was being pressured by Enough is Enough, began to block porn on its public internet. Starbucks, who was also being pressured, said they would follow suit. But they didn’t.

As such, Rice Hughes said: “By breaking its commitment, Starbucks is keeping the doors wide open for convicted sex offenders and others to fly under the radar from law enforcement and use free, public Wi-Fi services to access illegal child porn and hard-core pornography.”

As Starbucks stated, viewing illegal content via their wifi has never been allowed. And as far as I know, absent case-by-case issues, being a convicted sex offender does not necessarily mean you cannot consume legal adult content.

Clearly Starbucks is caving to histrionics about its free wifi, which, given how progressive the company ordinarily is, is disappointing. But we live in a world where Ashley Judd makes proclamations like the following, so though it’s disappointing, it’s not exactly surprising:

Demand Abolition: No Buyers = No Business https://t.co/C9RWpx8lGl

— ashley judd (@AshleyJudd) November 28, 2018