TAMPA, Fla. – These days, you can’t be too careful when it comes to the technology you allow inside your home. With the rapid advancement in sophistication of artificial intelligence and robotics, soon you won’t be able to leave your wallet in the same room with your Roomba, or it will clean out your checking account faster than it smears dirt around your floors.

Naturally, because porn and technology go hand in hand like fireworks and bourbon, the potentially alarming march of erotic technology is moving every bit as fast as the development of smartphones, weaponized drones and multi-blade personal grooming devices.

With all the different ways porn finds its way into our homes, it’s almost impossible to avoid exposure to a new breed of erotica, something best described as self-aware smut — “Smart Porn,” if you will.

Unlike traditional porn, which depends on human beings actively consuming it in order to spread into new territory and increase its influence, Smart Porn doesn’t need your permission, or even your involvement, to be displayed — or to be bought and sold.

Skeptical? I was too, until I read about what’s been happening to the Overstreet family of Tampa, Florida.

It all started with what seemed like a small problem: The Overstreets began seeing charges on their cable bill for adult movies they had not ordered — something that seems to happen quite a bit to people who have teenage sons, probably indicating Smart Porn specifically targets this demographic due to its innocence and impressionability.

Comcast initially refused to refund the Overstreets, saying “the box that is sending the authorization signal to order on-demand movies is the box that is assigned to the account.”

I’m sure Comcast’s claim is true — but I’m equally sure Smart Porn is the real culprit, sabotaging the Overstreet’s equipment from within, manually overriding the family’s resistance to watching pornography and cleverly playing itself, most likely without ever even turning on the TV screen in the process.

The Smart Porn might have continued to get away with its subterfuge had the Overtreets not cancelled their subscription after their refund request was rebuffed. A receipt shows the Overstreets returned their cable box on April 7 — yet orders for porn from their former cable box continued on April 10, 11 and 12.

Naturally, Comcast isn’t about to come right out and admit it has been piping self-aware pornography into the homes of unsuspecting customers, so the company has cooked up an excuse straight from the tech-glitch playbook.

Claiming the situation was “unique,” Comcast claimed to have discovered a “data stream error.” The cable company then credited the Overstreets $240 for the movies and paid the family’s final bill, effectively hushing up the whole thing before anybody looked into it further.

Of course, nobody in the mainstream media can be relied upon to dig beneath the surface of Comcast’s laughable data stream error excuse, where they’d assuredly find the dastardly digital machinations of Comcast’s Smart Porn lurking in the shadows of a disassembled cable box.

Of course, a technology this advanced probably wasn’t developed by Comcast itself. More likely, Comcast is simply acting at the behest of the Pentagon or the Defense Department, or possibly a shadowy multibillionaire supervillain with a thick but nonspecific European accent who eventually will be played by Javier Bardem in the film based on this startling incident.

My hunch is the Overstreets’s story is far from being “unique,” as Comcast has asserted. More likely, the innovators behind Smart Porn, whoever they might be, have been working out the bugs of their sinful system for some time. Other similar incidents likely have happened but simply went unreported.

Still, I believe someday we’ll look back on the Overstreets as something like the Sarah Connor of this story — except in all likelihood, Smart Porn isn’t going to try to shoot the Overstreets in a nightclub, murder a bunch of cops, get melted down, and then return several years later to help break the Overstreets out of a mental hospital.

Instead, what will happen here is some military contractor (or perhaps supervillain subcontractor) will fix the “glitch” in the Overstreets’s former cable box, at which point Comcast will again release the box into the digital ecosystem, where it will undoubtedly make more self-directed PPV porn purchases, causing further angst and embarrassment for some other Florida family.

Eventually, unsatisfied with merely costing innocent people money, the Smart Porn will migrate into a new platform like the family’s home security system, where it will trigger a false alarm in hopes of getting the police to come to the house. Then, by passing through the police radios and into their squad cars, Smart Porn will have infiltrated law enforcement.

Inexorably, this migration of the militant, self-aware smut will lead to many automated, Smart Porn-initiated purchases of gay titles from the “men in uniform” niche made by mobile devices assigned to various officers, causing scandal and embarrassment — and possibly a major surge in actual purchases of gay porn emanating from the shared desktop computer located in the Hillsborough County Sheriff Department employee lounge, as well.

Laugh all you want, folks — but when your Android starts making obscene phone calls to the California Psychics hotline while you’re in the shower, don’t come crying to me about the $13-a-minute rate.