BUSINESS THREADS

Tomorrow is Friday, August 24, 2001. I will be getting on an airplane and flying to Miami. If you know me, then you know I would rather scrape my nuts on a rusty cheese grater than fly in an airplane.BUSINESS THREADS

Tomorrow is Friday, August 24, 2001. I will be getting on an airplane and flying to Miami. If you know me, then you know I would rather scrape my nuts on a rusty cheese grater than fly in an airplane. Something about the fact that at any second, at any split second rather, I could hear a popping noise and my imminent death would be certain. Everybody tells me “Don’t worry, flying is safer than driving,” and “No webmaster has died in an airplane crash on the way to a show.” Well…So? There is a first for everything and I drive just fine!

The CyberNet Expo (http://www.CyberNetExpo.com/) has a tradition of being a smaller and more intimate show for webmasters. I personally like to attend Fay’s Cybernet and AdultDex shows. There is much more time for face to face meetings and discussions. I could imagine more work getting completed at this show than at any of the bigger events. Even the parties seem more intimate.

There are some great speakers at this year’s Cybernet. On Saturday you have the opportunity to listen to some of our industry leaders. Even though I don’t speak until 4:00 pm, I am seriously tempted to be in the seminars all day. Look at the list of speakers for Saturday: John IP, SweetT, TrafficDude, our own Otto, and many more just to name a few. All the speakers I can see on Saturday are top notch. You would probably increase your site’s effectiveness just by attending this day’s seminars.

Sunday will be a bonus. There is an all-day Newbie Bootcamp. Where else can you get the likes of DragonKing, Sharky, Snoops, myself, Magick, Mark Burke and many others, all sitting together trying to help YOU get better? What other industry takes its top dogs and lets you hear them give you tips on how to retain, maintain, and excel your website? If I weren’t speaking on Sunday, I would still go to this. I think it is a great idea and you will not be the sharpest tool in the shed if you miss it. They are even saying there will be some surprise guests. I don’t know who they are so don’t ask.

Monday is another information packed day full of seminars on niche sites, AVS sites, and gay sites. Samantha Lee is worth checking out — she is packed with great information. Brad Estes, Tim Watts, MelissaD, and many others are donating their time to help you maximize your site. With how well gay and niche sites convert, I would think these are going to be a full crowd, so get there early.

Enough about work already! Here is the scoop on the parties being thrown. Friday night is the Busty Belinda One Year Anniversary Party. Drew, the husband and webmaster of Busty Belinda, had no idea the CyberNet Expo was coming to town when he booked this party at the Velvet Swing. They now have over 50 amateur girls coming and some big industry players. You can bet your butt I will be there! You must have an invitation to this party, and I think now it might be at full capacity. You can try to email Drew at webmaster@bustybelinda.com to see if there are any more invites available. With no invite, there is a $50 cover charge. It is also BYOB.

Saturday is chock full of after work social activities. The kick ass people at HerTurn.org, (http://www.HerTurn.org) (the orgasm cream that ACTUALLY works—TRUST ME!) are having a hospitality suite gathering starting at 7:00 pm. Look for any one of a dozen or so hot amateur women walking around with invites and product samples. Then back at the suite, there will be complimentary beverages and a live demonstration of the potency and excitement that HerTurn brings to the bedroom. At least half a dozen amateur women are signed up to give live demonstrations including the gorgeous Monet.

Saturday night there is also a party being sponsored by HardCoremoney.com (http://www.HardCoremoney.com) at the Solid Gold Strip Club. This party starts at 9PM and you should be all fired up after seeing the live demonstrations at the HerTurn Hospitality Suite. There will be a shuttle running to and from the hotel all night, and if you need an invite then please email Tom@hardcoremoney.com.

Ethernext Web Hosting is also sponsoring a big shindig on Saturday night. This one will be at the CroBar Dance Club in the heart of South Beach. I think this nightclub is just north of the Ford Modeling Agency…hmmmm! There will be a shuttle bus running from the hotel from 9:45 to 11:45. In order to get into this party you will need your badge or a one-day hand stamp. Trust me, bring at least your badge. Security has strict orders at all these parties to make no exceptions. If you are not completely tired or hammered at the end of this night, after all these parties, then give me a call on my cell phone and let’s go do some naked jet skiing.

Sunday night has two more great parties. There is an early party starting at 5:30, sponsored by ScoresCash. This will be an outdoor cocktail party by the saltwater pool. A DJ will be spinning the records…it sounds like it will be a great time. Bring your badge to get the complimentary booze. After this, be sure to make the CEN (http://www.cenmadness.com/), SilverCash (http://www.SilverCash.com/), SmutCash (http://www.SmutCash.com/) party starting at 8:45. These guys are famous for having some of the best parties around so you will not want to miss this. There will be shuttle buses from the hotel to the location, Solid Gold. Again, bring your badge or handstamp.

Monday night is the “Webmasters Against Child Abuse” auction. I am honored to be the Mater of Ceremonies for the evening as webmasters from all over will be getting together to raise money. Cocktails at 6:15, courtesy of ARS. Dinner at 7:15. All proceeds will go to benefit PreventChildAbuse.com (http://www.preventchildabuse.com/). A silent Auction will be held during Cocktails and Dinner Buffet – there you may bid on about 50 items, each valued at $500 or more! Following dinner, the conclusion of the auction will be held. All monies received will be generously donated to the National Exchange Club Foundation, which is fighting hard to protect our children.

Tuesday, the convention floor is cleaning up and there will be some farewell parties. I hope to grab a dozen or more shots of tequila. I will need some shots of encouragement to muster up the strength to jump on that flying tube of death to head home. Because, you know what I would rather do than fly right?