Scarlett Johansson spoke with the Washington Post over the weekend, bemoaning the fact that she’s a prime target for creators of pornographic “deepfakes”—computer-generated videos that superimpose somebody’s face on somebody else’s body. The media has been gleefully losing its shit about deepfakes ever since a video purporting to show Gal Gadot having sex on camera surfaced in late 2017.

The field has only proliferated since then, with women of all stripes around the world being victimized. By now, Johansson—an internationally acclaimed actress and all-around hottie—has found her facehas been spliced into “dozens” of deepfake porn videos, according to the Post, which reports that one of those videos having racked up over 1.5 million views.

And, understandably, ScarJo isn’t pleased. But she recognizes that trying to fight back against every deepfake is a lost cause, she said, because “the internet is a vast wormhole of darkness that eats itself.” The way she sees it, “The fact is that trying to protect yourself from the internet and its depravity is basically a lost cause.”

But apparently—and amazingly—the Pentagon disagrees, and they’re bringing the might and funding of the US military to fighting back against deepfakes. The Post also reported that the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency, or DARPA—a research arm of the Pentagon—is funding research on how to identify faked videos that could be used in political blackmail…or porn. DARPA’s aim is “to level the digital imagery playing field, which currently favors the manipulator,” a representative told the Post.

We’re astonished that the military is getting involved in anything that goes near smut. But then again, we’re surprised that anybody is out there spending their precious time and energy making fake porn videos in the first place.

I mean sure, making porn is fun. That’s why so many people do it… for real. And on purpose. And release it on the internet. For you to watch. Literally all the time. From cam models to exhibitionists to professional porn stars, there are thousands—maybe millions—of folks around the world who want you to watch them having sex.

Instead of slaving over AI-generated videos to trick people into thinking ScarJo got it on with Lexington Steele…why not just watch any of the hundreds of porn videos of other women who did have sex with Lex? They’re already out there. They’ve already been made for you. Just waiting for you to find them, pay for them, and watch them. Seriously, folks. Look it up.

Pentagon image © David B. Gleason via Wikimedia Commons