PHOENIX – After easily passing in both the Arizona House and Senate, the state’s latest iteration of its prohibition against “revenge porn,” HB 2001, now needs only to be signed by Gov. Doug Ducey in order to become law.

The legislation, the full name of which is “An Act Amending Section 13-1425, Arizona Revised Statutes; Relating to Sexual Offenses,” but prefers to be called simply “Bill 2001” (partially in homage to his favorite hip-hop artist), said he’s been “not-so-patiently waiting” for this day his entire life.

“When I was a kid, a lot of my friends were totally obsessed with the idea of growing up to be laws against the big headline items from this state, like drugs, gun-running or illegal immigration,” Bill 2001 said. “But me, I’ve always wanted to be an effective prohibition on the vile practice of revenge porn. Among other things, it seems like a really good way to meet chicks.”

Bill 2001’s big opportunity has not come without serious setbacks along the way, including the untimely death of his cousin, HB 2515, in 2014.

“The whole family took the loss of 2515 very hard,” Bill 2001 said. “He was too extreme in some ways, kind of a vague and overreaching sort of guy, but his heart was in the right place. Realistically, though, as soon as people got to know him, they all kinda knew he’d eventually get shot down by one of those black-robed assassins in the federal court system, or euthanized by agreement between the state and the ACLU, which is how things ultimately went down.”

Shortly after 2515’s death, Bill 2001 was drafted to step into his place. Although saddened by the loss of his cousin, Bill said he knew it was time to “step up and take over the family business.”

“Even though 2515 had just died the previous December, I knew I’d have to be ready to rock by April, so I started my training, underwent an exhausting series of tests, examinations and debates, and generally got myself ready for prime time,” Bill 2001 said. “Then, just when it looks like I’m ready to be anointed into law, the powers that be completely shit the legislative bed.”

Although he had been evaluated and vetted by both the Arizona House and Senate, Bill 2001 never received a final up or down vote in April 2015 — apparently because the Senate simply forgot to take the vote before adjourning their 2015 session.

Bill 2001 called the mishap “the most excruciating thing I’ve ever experienced, including all the times I’ve been mechanically collated.”

“I felt like the kid on the playground who nobody chose to be on their team,” Bill 2001 said. “The weird part was, the same group of people who failed to approve me were out in the media crowing about how great I was, literally earlier the same day.”

Making matters worse, when Bill 2001 wasn’t approved as planned, it resulted in a whole new round of in-court bashing of his dearly departed cousin, which ultimately led U.S. District Court Judge Susan Bolton to issue a decree permanently enjoining HB 2515.

“It was like they dug up ol’ 2515 just to drive another stake into his heart,” Bill 2001 said. “I know it had to be done as a matter of law and court protocol, but I just wish it could have been a more private ceremony, you know? Something without the press around, and more respectful of not just the bill 2515 was, but the enforceable law he aspired to become.”

Ira Abbot, a professor ad hoc from the Sandra Day O’Connor College of Law at Arizona State University in Tempe, said he’s optimistic Bill 2001 will meet with a better fate than did his cousin.

“Bill 2001 seems much more assured of his identity and purpose,” Abbot said. “He’s going to focus on offenders who use non-consensual pornography as a means of harassing and abusing others, without the potential to get distracted by art books, erotic photography taken and distributed with the subject’s consent, or anything else that might trouble the sort of people who both run bookstores and have the wherewithal to retain lawyers from the ACLU.”

For his part, Bill 2001 said while he’s looking forward to being signed by the governor, he’ll “believe it when once it has happened.”

“If you look at it from my perspective, I’ve been here before, more or less,” Bill 2001 said. “Just as nobody expected the Senate to adjourn last year without a final vote on me, who’s to say Doug Ducey won’t want to leave his options open with respect to revenge porn and issue a surprise veto? For all I know, the guy’s smartphone is loaded with naked pics of his ex-girlfriends, and he leads a double life online as ‘Carlito Peligroso,’ or something.”