LEXINGTON PARK, MD — Chalk this one up to the “No, Seriously – Don’t Do This at Home or Anywhere Else” file: sex with a saw.As unsurprising as it may seem to the casual observer, attaching a sex toy to a functioning saber saw blade turned out to be a very bad idea for two horny young lovers.

Imagine that.

Apparently, a 27-year-old Saint Mary’s County woman and her enterprising home improvement minded boyfriend have highly creative imaginations – but not very good reasoning abilities.

At issue was said boyfriend’s bright idea to slip a sex toy over a functional saber saw blade and then apply it to said girlfriend’s genitals.

Instead of a big O, the couple made a frantic 911 call once the sharp blade made quick work of the sex toy – and the young woman’s soft fleshy bits.

Emergency medical staff arrived on the scene at 1:30 am to find the woman bleeding and severely wounded. She was transported by air to Prince George’s County Hospital Center.

There is no word on the woman’s current condition and although the St. Mary’s County Bureau of Criminal Investigation has concluded that the act was consensual and no crime was committed, some reports indicate that an investigation into the matter continues.