SEATTLE, WA — Leave it to the Pacific Northwest to come up with a more “green” way to do something – including commit a crime. As the Seattle Post-Intelligencer tells it, the six-foot tall man wearing a workman’s jacket and satchel-style shoulder bag had an armload of sex magazines when he left the Eastlake neighborhood convenience store around 10:30 am that fateful Friday.

What he didn’t have was a shopping bag or a receipt – because he hadn’t bothered to pay for them.

That’s because he had a gun, and in some people’s lexicon, that’s as good as carrying a wad of cash.

Before he checked out the magazine rack, the pistol-packing porn hound asked the convenience store owner for a match. Then he bundled up his favorite smut mags and made a successful dash for the door, followed by the shop owner and a customer.

Outside of the building, the duo found the porn packing shoplifter seated on – a bicycle. Expecting an easy capture, retailer and customer moved toward the thief only to change their minds when he pulled his jacket aside to reveal the butt of a handgun.

The bicycle riding porn thief peddled away with eight magazines, estimated to be worth $96.