Police Hope to Get Fetishist by the (Exercise) Balls
DULUTH, MI — Whether it takes all kinds of we’ve simply got all kinds is a subject for debate – but one thing certain, Duluth, MI police definitely want to find a man with a self-identified fetish for rubber balls. Or slashing them to bits, anyway.
Surveillance tapes recorded in a gym last May revealed a man who appears to be breaking into the fitness club building – in order to slash exercise balls.
As odd as the vandalism may be, authorities say that the man behind them is no stranger to them. In fact, they believe that he is a 31-year-old man who was convinced in 2005 of doing the dirty deed to 70 exercise balls located within the University of Minnesota in Duluth sports facility.
Each murdered ball costs between $30 and $60 to replace.
At the time of his previous transgression against the sanctity that is bouncy rubber, the man admitted that he had done precisely the same thing to at least another 40 innocent balls located in at least two other fitness locations.
According to police records, the man explained that his compulsion to stab and slash rubber exercise balls comes from a deep seated sexual urge for contact with inflatable rubber exercise devices.
We always hurt the ones we love, after all.