PINEDALE, Wyo. – The Pinedale Forum, Wyoming’s premier adult industry gathering since 2015, has announced the opening and immediate, indefinite postponement of its 2020 event.

“Registration opened this morning and things are already rocking!” tweeted Reggie Cheney, the Founder, President, CEO, General Counsel and Head Sanitation Engineer for Adult E-Vents Ltd, the company that operates the Pinedale Forum, on Thursday morning. “So, it is with great regret that I must announce the immediate suspension and indefinite postponement of the 2020 Pinedale Forum, effective immediately.”

In subsequent tweets, Cheney said he “apologize(s) profusely to all the adult performers, webmasters, cam models, panelists and companies already in attendance, especially those awaiting a bus to pick them up near Daniel Junction following their unguided tour of the Green River,” adding that “unfortunately, due to unforeseen circumstances totally beyond my control, that bus does not, in fact, exist.”

Adult industry attorney Tito Mendacio, a long time associate of Cheney’s who had been scheduled to lead a panel discussion at the event titled “Mitigate Your Legal Risks by Going Out of Business,” said he found Cheney’s announcements and subsequent explanation “less satisfying than getting an overly toothy blowjob from a Panamanian hooker.”

“Look, it’s one thing to postpone an event because of COVID-19, or to cancel one because of an earthquake, or to move the event because you picked up a rumor the DEA is going to raid the pre-show poker tournament to search for cocaine,” Mendacio said. “Those are all very reasonable concerns about issues which impact adult trade shows all the time. In this case though, Reggie just seems to be pocketing the money and running, which is a totally uncool thing to do to your lawyer, unless he’s getting a cut of the take.”

GreasyGreg, whose company GreasyNet is the sole Jasper-level sponsor of the Pinedale Forum, said he’s trying to find out how Cheney spent the $75,000 in funding GreasyNet chipped in for the event.

“Reggie told me it was all going to be committed to ‘event infrastructure and support’ – stuff like providing free WiFi, paying for security guards, food for the breakfast buffet and all that shit,” GreasyGreg said. “But then I get here and there’s just a big circus tent with folding tables inside. There’s no WiFi at all, let alone free WiFi, no security personnel and the so-called ‘breakfast buffet’ is this DIY nightmare that amounts to a Coleman camp stove, two old nonstick pans with the Teflon peeling off and a couple dozen eggs in an ice chest – minus the ice.”

Cam performer DivinePrincessGoddessMistressDivaRawkstar, who had been scheduled to lead the Pinedale Forum panel discussion “Developing the Discipline to Effectively Manage Your Brand identity,” told YNOT that while she had completely forgotten about the show and almost slept through the start time of her session scheduled for the show’s first day, if she had remembered and flown to Wyoming, “I would be so super pissed off right now.”

“It’s totally ridiculous and insulting of Reggie to pull an after-the-last-minute cancellation like this,” DivinePrincessGoddessMistressDivaRawkstar added. “And to think, when I texted him 30 minutes before the start of discussion I was supposed to lead to say I can’t make it this morning, he called me unprofessional!”

Old_Skool_Scott, the only adult webmaster in attendance, so far as YNOT could discern, said he’s “trying to make the best out of a bad situation by picking what little scraps of flesh I can off the rotting corpse of this dead show.”

“There was supposed to be a fishing competition for webmasters, but obviously that didn’t happen,” Old_Skool_Scott told YNOT. “But the little fish eggs they were going to use for bait aren’t so bad if you put them on a Ritz cracker with a dash of Tabasco. So that’s one positive I can take away from this experience, I guess.”

Bill O’Sayle, a representative of the cryptocurrency payment platform VaporCharge, the Pinedale Forum Registration Sponsor, was less forgiving in his assessment.

“It’s like the Fyre Festival meets Friday the 13^th out here,” O’Sayle said, looking out over a landscape of dismantled tents, colorful plastic wristbands and unopened boxes of marketing materials and trade show schwag. “Oh well; at least I’m still doing more business than I did at Errrotica, Des Moines.”

Main conference hall/log cabin photo by Spencer Gurley of Pexels