LOS ANGELES, CA — Flying has been an increasingly grueling experience for law-abiding citizens ever since the infamous September 11th airborne terrorist attacks, but few passengers have had to endure as much pain and suffering as 37-year-old Mandi Hamlin. Even fewer can claim their unnecessary misery managed to change government policy. Hamlin had been traveling from Lubbock, TX to Dallas-Ft. Worth after visiting an elderly uncle when she was detained at the security screening gates. By all accounts, she passed through the arched metal detectors without incident, but was called aside for random secondary screening. As the female TSA agent waved the detector wand over Hamlin’s chest, its alarm sounded and an area of potential danger was identified: her nipples.

The pierced woman, understanding the oft-joked about risks that her inserted metal bars posed to national air safety, explained to the TSA official that she had a nipple bar and ring installed; which prompted a request from a male TSA agent that they be removed.

As those familiar with body piercings other than those associated with the ear lobe know, removing piercing hardware from other locations can be difficult and painful, since most are intended to remain for an extended period of time and scar tissue can cling to jewelry. Fully aware of this, Hamlin proposed that she and a TSA official go to a discreet location where she could reveal the piercings, thus proving their true threat level.

Her proposal was denied by multiple male officials, and the tearful woman proceeded to extract the offending hardware – with the necessary assistance of a large pair of pliers, in the case of the ring — from behind a curtain. According to Hamlin, she was able to hear male TSA officers “snickering” as she struggled to remove the jewelry.

Once denuded of her chest ornamentation, Hamlin submitted to another screening, which resulted in an alarm response in the region of her navel, where another piercing was located. Presumably somewhat educated by the earlier ordeal, officials declined Hamlin’s offer to remove her belly button ring, opting instead for a visual inspection.

“I wouldn’t wish this experience upon anyone,” Hamlin later told the press, as she demanded an apology from, and civil rights investigation of, federal security agents. “I felt surprised, embarrassed, humiliated, and scared. No one deserves to go through this.”

For most, a press conference and a demand for an apology is as good as it gets. Such appeared to be the case for Hamlin, giving that the TSA’s customer service manager at the Lubbock airport insisted that its employees had followed proper screening etiquette.

However, the TSA website states that “If you are selected for additional screening, you may ask to remove your body piercing in private as an alternative to a pat-down search.”

Hamlin insists that she was never given the opportunity to receive a pat-down search.

Although still maintaining that procedure was followed in Hamlin’s case, the TSA has agreed that policies must be changed, and that future body jewelry related security matters will result in passengers being assured of their right to a visual examination instead of hardware removal.

While Hamlin’s attorney, Gloria Allred, likely speaks for most pierced citizens when she states that “the last time I checked, a nipple was not a dangerous weapon,” the TSA assures Americans that terrorists often hide dangerous substances in delicate parts of the body – and is in the process of training its representatives how to scan for “bra bombs.”