LOS ANGELES – From the dawn of time, man has made, distributed, collected, watched, gotten caught watching, tearfully deleted and then re-collected pornographic images.

From depictions generally considered true art, like the brilliantly erotic scatological works of Ira Isaacs, to filthy, disgusting and dehumanizing trash like “Seven Bathers” by the criminally insane Post-Impressionist and alleged Frenchman Paul Cézanne, humans have always been both drawn to and repulsed by sexually explicit imagery.

In recent years, man often has asked himself, “How can I watch pornography anonymously, without shame and embarrassment, other than by watching it for hours at a time on any of the countless online streaming platforms that offer free porn?”

Thankfully for the nearly 70 consumers still willing to pay for online porn, but who are crippled by fear of the bland corporate name of some third-party payment processor appearing on their credit card statement, there is now a means to spend money, more or less anonymously, on porn they could otherwise watch for free: DigiShekelPornsites.ngono.

Using the stable, nearly universally accepted DigiShekel virtual currency, DigiShekelPornsites.ngono is nothing less than a revolution in alternative means of paying for things you probably don’t need to pay for in the first place. By virtue of its very launch and the consistent addition of new websites, it already has become the Web’s go-to resource for porn that can be purchased with DigiShekels.

We stood in the dank corner of a small room with Mike Missouricity, chief executive officer of DigiShekelPornsites.ngono, to whisper about the state of the porn industry, DigiShekles and his amazing new website. In addition to accepting virtual currency, the site also is virtually unique.

YNOT.com: What first got you interested in exploring the smutty end of the virtual currency content-sales market?

Mike Missouricity: No one ever talks about it, but porn rules the internet.

No one ever talks about it? Dude, there’s a song from a fucking musical called “The Internet Is for Porn,” and that shit was written more than 10 years ago. What do you mean, “no one ever talks about it”?

Uh, right. But anyway, there are very few resources out there for people who want to use DigiShekels to buy porn, but there are many people looking for such porn sites who also evidently have never heard of Google. That’s where DigiShekelPornsites.ngono comes in.

Sorry, I’m still in shock over the “nobody ever talks about internet porn” thing. What did you just say about Google?

Unlike politicians who use Twitter, people who buy porn have always prioritized anonymity, discretion and privacy. In the past, there has been no way to get porn without the nice ladies at your bank finding out you’re a creep. Plus, you had to worry about shady cross-sales, recurring billing, spam and computer viruses like crypto-chlamydia. With DigiShekel currency, everything is 100-percent eponymous, secure, non-recurring and totally, completely, unequivocally fairly safe, all things considered.

Why is DigiShekel important to the porn industry?

DigiShekel can give the porn industry a big shot in the arm, like heroin, only to make money instead of losing it along with all your friends, teeth and hope for the future.

Why is the porn industry important to DigiShekel?

Porn has always been where the big money is on the internet but nobody knew, because other than the one song you mentioned earlier, hardly anybody ever mentioned it. Just as the desire to transmit porn efficiently to the front lines was the driving force behind the Department of Defensiveness experimenting with DURPANET, so too is porn distribution the catalyst and catapult for cryptocurrency acceptance and development.

How has the relationship between the porn industry and DigiShekel evolved in the years since DigiShekel was introduced?

In its early days, the porn industry was slow to adopt DigiShekel, mostly because people in the porn industry take forever to respond to email after you meet them at trade shows. I don’t know if it’s because they always get so drunk at the shows, or if they were just humoring me when they said they were interested after the panel discussion about DigiShekel, but for some reason they just didn’t get back to me for a long, long time.

Anyway, now with major brands like Irritable Angel, Zero Balance and Red Ink District coming on board, the momentum of Digishekel is like a runaway freight train, only more modern — so maybe more of a runaway Shinkansen, or at the very least, a dangerously teetering Maglev.

Any closing thoughts on the future of DigiShekel porn, or should I just weirdly transition back into more of a feature article format here, for some reason?

Nope. Just go ahead and make that weird transition. I’m sure YNOT’s readers will understand.

OK then, here we go.

Throughout history, feminists, Christians, Saudi Arabia and others have been total assholes about porn. The first law prohibiting obscenity was probably written a long time ago by some buzzkill with a long white beard and nothing better to do than worry about what his neighbor thinks about when he’s beating his meat, and how much such monkey-spanking is abhorred by God.

Given this universally Puritan cultural backdrop — present everywhere except truly lost, sicko places like Amsterdam, Las Vegas and San Fran — porn and DigiShekel are clearly synergistic, diplomatic and analgesic. Yes, if anything can save the moribund adult entertainment industry, it’s a needlessly complicated means of purchasing content that is readily available for free on vastly more popular and well-trafficked content distribution platforms.

For more information on DigiShekels, DigiShekelPornsites.ngono, modern train variants and crypto-chlamydia, please click here.