ALBAQUERQUE, NM — Here’s another for the porno-romantic “Where Did We Go Wrong: Let Me Count the Ways” file. It was a snuggly morning in front of the DVD player for 20-year-old Amanda Moya and her then-boyfriend. A morning to relax and unwind together, watch a little porn, maybe loosen up some restraining order inspiring tensions and have a friendly bounce between the bed sheets.

Alas for her unnamed sweetheart, he is apparently a little too attractive. Or a little too well hung. Or a little too generic from the navel to the knees. Or just damn hot enough to be a porn star.

Whatever the exact reason, it resulted in him running for his life, wearing nothing but his shorts, and carrying nothing but his cell phone.

“She almost shanked me and everything! She put the fucking knife right under my throat,” he frantically told a 9-1-1 operator as he raced away from his apartment, his enraged and deluded girlfriend following with a knife. “She already has battery charges against her. She’s not even supposed to be around me,” he continued as the dispatcher advised him to try to find a store to seek shelter within.

Given that Moya had already bitten his chest and stabbed his face, the frantic man’s recorded 9-1-1 call indicates that he was plenty motivated to escape – and desperate for police intervention.

After reaching a business parking lot, he was able to wave down a deputy, who then apprehended Moya, who was charged with aggravated assault, aggravated battery — and child abuse, for having abandoned the couple’s eight-month-old infant in order to chase her boyfriend down the street.

Moya’s motivation for attacking the father of her child? She was convinced that he was the star of the video the couple had been watching.