WASHINGTON, D.C. – Morality in Media, the staunchly anti-anything-fun organization that has appointed itself America’s collective nanny, is in the process of changing its name. The new moniker, National Center on Sexual Exploitation, will better reflect the organization’s global objectives, representatives said.

Let’s not examine the new name too closely. If we do, we’re liable to realize it sounds more like a group promoting sexual exploitation than one flogging the notion that everything of which MIM/NCSE doesn’t approve is exploitative.

At about the same time the organization announced its “rebranding,” MIM also released its 2015 Dirty Dozen, a list of what MIM/NCSE considers to be the leading contributors to sexual exploitation.

If nothing else, the list exposes a remarkable lack of creativity in the hallowed halls of Censorship Central. Only three of the entries on 2015’s list are new. Of the remaining nine, six appeared on the Dirty Dozen list in both 2013 and 2014. The other three appeared in 2014 and carried over into this year.

Our question: Why bother creating a new list every year, since very little of the list is, in fact, new? Why not just name the repeat offenders irredeemable, morally bankrupt commercial entities that are leading the populace straight into the fiery pit and be done with it?

According to Dawn Hawkins, executive director of the National Center on Sexual Exploitation (also known as the once and future MIM), MIM effected “sweeping policy changes for past targets, including Google, Verizon, and [the] Department of Defense.”

It’s worth noting that part of Google and all of Verizon remain on 2015’s Dirty Dozen list, despite the “sweeping policy changes.” Good work there, MIM.

Hawkins attempts to shift the blame for the seeming contradiction onto the companies themselves.

“Despite the incontrovertible evidence of harm, many companies and organizations still choose to engage in sexual exploitation to make a profit or push an agenda,” she said.

This is important because, you know, MIM/NCSE isn’t pushing an agenda.

For the third consecutive year the U.S. Dept. of Justice tops the list, because according to Hawkins, “to not uphold federal obscenity laws is to ignore what has now become a public health crisis in our nation.” (In 2013 and 2014, the top spot actually was occupied by former Attorney General Eric Holder. Since his departure, however, MIM seems to have decided to apply the “trickle-down” theory to the department as a whole.)

The complete 2015 Dirty Dozen list with MIM/NCSE’s rationale, much of which is conjecture, patently inaccurate or intentionally skewed:

U.S. Dept. of Justice: “The DOJ refuses to enforce existing federal obscenity laws against pornography despite the fact that these laws have been upheld by U.S. courts and previously enforced. Pornography is a public health crisis, and DOJ must not be on the side of pornographers.” [The department also led the list in 2013 and 2014.]

Verizon: “Verizon profits from sexual exploitation by pushing it into homes through multiple ways, including pay-per-view movies on their FIOS TV, as an internet service provider and as a wireless carrier. They’ve even defended child-themed porn as a benefit to their consumers. It’s time Verizon had a change in policy.” [Verizon also appeared on 2014’s list. MIM claimed to have exorcised Verizon’s demons in 2014, but evidently they came back.]

Fifty Shades of Grey: “This bestselling series and film glamorizes and legitimatizes violence against women through sexual violence, abuse of power, female inequality and coercion. Help us inform mainstream pop culture and news outlets that are promoting the material and the abusive lifestyle it promotes.” [FSOG initially appeared on the list in 2014.]

Backpage.com: “Backpage.com is the leading U.S. website for prostitution advertising, generating nearly 80 percent of all the online prostitution advertising revenue. Law enforcement officials say trafficked children and women are sold on Backpage daily, and the site is even actively opposing laws that make it a felony to advertise sexual services of children.” [Backpage is one of three newbies to hit the list in 2014.]

Hilton Hotels: “This top hotel chain provides hardcore pornography movie choices with themes that include children, incest, rape, sexual slavery and extreme violence. Other popular hotels, such as Marriott and Omni, refuse to profit from this exploitation.” [Hilton is another perennial offender, having also appeared on the list in 2013 and 2014. We’re certain the hotelier appreciates MIM anointing it the “top hotel chain,” however.]

American Library Association: “For years, ALA has encouraged public libraries to keep all computers unfiltered and to allow patrons, including children, access to pornography. As a result, child sexual abuse, sexual assault, exhibitionism, stalking and other lewd behavior takes place in libraries across the country.” [The ALA should take a bow, since it has inspired such overwrought—and erroneous—rhetoric since 2013.]

American Apparel: “American Apparel’s advertising strategy is to normalize the objectification of women. To sell products, the company regularly features nude or provocatively posed young girls with an emphasis on women’s breasts and buttocks.” [Another of the three newbies in 2015.]

Sex Week: “University campuses are overwhelmed with reports of sexual violence, yet many of these schools welcome so-called ‘sex week’ celebrations where pornography, violent sexual practices and the hook-up culture are promoted as harmless fun.” [Sex Week made its first appearance on the list in 2014.]

Facebook: “In recent years, Facebook has taken measures to curb exploitation, but they have a long way to go as the world’s most popular social networking site. It has become a top place to trade pornography and child pornography, as well as a place of prostitution and sex trafficking.” [Facebook, which appeared on the list in both 2013 and 2014, most likely will inhabit the Earth even after the impending End of Days.]

CKE Restaurants: “Owner of over 3,300 Carl’s Jr. and Hardee’s locations, CKE Restaurants utilizes sexual suggestions and explicit images of the female body in commercials and print ads to sell hamburgers.” [This is CKE’s maiden appearance on the Dirty Dozen list. What took MIM so long?]

YouTube: “Google has worked to curb exploitation in other tools they offer, yet they still allow hundreds of hours of porn videos to be uploaded to YouTube each day. Google does little to enforce their policies prohibiting such content, and the SafeSearch feature is far from reliable.” [Google and all of its divisions appeared on the Dirty Dozen list in 2014. In 2013, GooglePlay, the company’s app store, landed on the list alone. MIM appears to be both tilting at windmills and attempting to slay the hydra with a butter knife.]

Cosmopolitan Magazine: “The staple of the supermarket checkout line is a porn magazine. Cosmo glamorizes things like public, anal or violent sex in nearly all of their issues. It’s time that Cosmo be sold to adults only and have the cover wrapped like all other porn mags in retail shops.” [Also on the Dirty Dozen list in 2013 and 2014, Cosmo likely will “have the cover wrapped like all other porn mags” at the same time the Bible receives the same treatment for the same reasons.]

Entities that have dropped off the Dirty Dozen list over the past two years include LodgeNet (on 2013’s list), Twitter (2013), Wikipedia (2013), the U.S. Dept. of Defense (2013), Barnes & Noble (2013 and 2014), tumblr (2014) and PlayStation (2014).