Italian Court Tells Superstitious Men “Hands Off Your Crotch!”
ROME — Italians are historically famous for their creative ways of expressing everything from love to contempt – with both word and deed. From Shakespeare’s thumb biting exchange in Romeo and Juliet to a history of wild sidewalk gesticulations, the passion and clarity of Italian hand language is legendary. Alas for the vast and venerable vocabulary, one part of the male human anatomy is now officially stricken from the public lexicon. Given the ancient religious traditions that have flourished in the region throughout the ages, it is hardly a surprise to learn that many Italian men still engage in superstitious behavior – including crotch grabbing.
The power of the penis is absolute in warding off the evil eye, according to folklore, and the sight of men clutching their genitals as hearses pass or during conversations about death, illness, or disasters has not been an uncommon one.
All that will change thanks to a supreme court ruling that found a 42-year-old man guilty of “ostentatiously touching his genitals through his clothing,” in spite of his attorneys’ argument that the act had been a “compulsive, involuntary movement” caused by uncomfortable overalls.
Poor choice of pant fit style or not, the Como-based man was fined more than $3,000 and ordered to pay nearly $1,500 in legal fees, according to the Daily Telegraph, because – as the judges pointed out – such behavior constitutes an “act contrary to public decency.”
Additionally, the jurors deemed public groin grabbing to be in violation of the law because citizens are legally bound to “abstain from conduct that is potentially offensive to collectively held feelings of decorum.”
As for warding off the evil eye or other excuses, the court proposed that men compelled to do so by groping at their Johnson wait to do so until arriving at home.