GAZA STRIP — Of all the real or imagined sneak attacks launched by the Israeli government against Hamas and the Palestinian people, perhaps none is so nefarious and bizarre as aphrodisiac bubble gum allegedly being handed out to Gaza youths in an attempt to corrupt their morals. According to the Israel News, Islam Shahwan, a Hamas police representative in the Gaza Strip, insists that Israeli operatives are shipping in a variety of products designed to target Palestinian youths and erode their otherwise good behavior.

Chief among the weapons targeting the hapless youths is chewing gum laces with libido-pumping chemicals.

Shahwan claimed on Monday that he had come into possession of some of the dosed chewables after a Palestinian drug dealer admitted to having sold items that boost sexual desire. In what could never have been an attempt to cover his ass or fan the flames of political hostility, the dealer insisted that he had procured the items from Israeli sources via the Karni crossing.

The gum, which Shahwan says is of such importance to the Israeli’s goal of turning Palestinian youths into ravenous – and theoretically reproductive – sex beasts, first came to his notice when a citizen filed a legal complaint concerning his daughter, who had supposedly chewed some of the gum and experienced and inappropriate reaction.

Several suspects have been taken into custody, although press accounts do not say whether they are related to the stimulant gum being sold or, as Shahwan claims the Israeli intelligence operatives prefer, given away free.

As Shahwan sees it, “The Israelis seek to destroy the Palestinians’ social infrastructure with these products and to hurt the young generation by distributing drugs and sex stimulants.”

A large cache of drugs and alcohol were recently found attached to the undercarriage of automobiles passing through Erez crossing, Shahwan reported. According to him, the vehicles’ owners readily admitted smuggling their contraband with the assistance of Israeli intelligence operatives.

Although wily Israeli evil-doers may have slipped sexualizing gum into Gaza, Shahwan assures that it won’t make it through for long. One of the favored ways of transporting drugs into the Strip are the Rafah tunnels between Gaza and Egypt, which he assured are watched carefully by Hamas police officers.