It’s strange to think that just a little less than ten years ago, I was sitting in a little townhouse in Delaware, opening presents on Christmas morning and staring confusedly at this little gadget that my mother had sent me, wondering why.At the time, my husband was in the United States Air Force and we were holding our breath, waiting for the orders to come through that would determine where we would be living over the next three years. After two months of deliberation over which duty stations would benefit us most over the course of his career, he put in a request for three overseas stations, three in the continental United States, and one in Hawaii (like a young family could resist at least making the request).

My mother, believing herself the glue of the family, had sent to both my sister (who is married to a Marine) and myself a present that she believed would be essential to keeping us all in close contact, no matter where we ended up. It was a little beige blob of plastic surrounding another clear plastic disc that upon first glance reminded me far too much of “Johnny 5” from the movie Short Circuit. My first webcam.

I had owned a computer for years. I was fairly internet savvy (it didn’t take much in those days) and I was the one to introduce my family to the wonderful world of email and instant messaging. I had always wondered why people would want this seemingly superfluous program, NetMeeting, on their personal machines, and yet here I was suddenly faced with a reason to actually open the program.

“Why not?” I thought to myself. “Mom can see the kids, I can see my sister and her kids… this will be cool!”

After a week of the hassle of actually getting the webcam to work, driver installation, tech support for hours, absolute frustration and confusion, I finally rebooted my computer, opened the program and saw myself “on cam” for the first time.

What a feeling of accomplishment and surprise and happiness and excitement! I was immediately hooked.

Then the infuriating process of getting both my sister’s and mother’s cameras working; it was both an easier and harder task than setting up my own. I had gone through the process myself already, but had to sit on the phone to explain the process to each of them until they got it right. Finally, we’re all set up and that first connection was made. Success!

It didn’t last long. I think that there were only four or five video-calls between the three of us before they got bored or frustrated with the slow connection speeds of dial-up and refused the expense of upgrading to the brand new technological leap of broadband.

Not me, I was recording videos for my husband, snapping poorly lit and pixilated pictures left and right and sending them to all of my IM friends. I loved it, pure and simple. I had become a webcam junkie in less than two months.
When I think back to those first days of “real” communication with the rest of the internet community, I often laugh at my own childlike enthusiasm for this new level of social interaction on a global scale. It was at least six more months before the first IM asking me for a more indiscreet picture of myself. No kidding!

I can’t say that it was shocking to me or that it made me angry. I was flattered, I was curious, I was excited by the prospect of this stranger seeing my body … of this person wanting to see my body. It took less than two minutes for me to say “Ok” and start clicking. Oh, the thrill of the exclamations of surprise and thanks and perverse innuendo that followed was like a drug and I wanted more.

I hadn’t ever used the webcam to see or be seen by anyone other than my husband and family, at that point. I had taken pictures and shared them with others, but not video. Most of my internet friends were on Macs. Netmeeting and Macs just didn’t mix and suddenly I was in a frenzy to find a way to see these people who I was talking to. I started a hunt. I used and abused the search engines until I was blue to find a cross-platform video chat format that I could use to see these IM friends.

Finally, I found iVisit.com. Another week of tech support and frustration at the incompatibility of my cam and the software, and then I was finally ready to go. Screen-name, Check. IMs and emails to all the friends, Check. Responses and building excitement, Check! Check! Check!

That first connection, that first time of seeing a living, breathing, smiling stranger moving on my screen…bliss. There was no turning back, after that. I had found a place to be completely anonymous and known at the same time. I had found a small community of people who were searching for the same things that I was searching for: a sense of continuity, a sense of having a presence in the world, a sense of family and freedom on a global scale. These were my people.

For years, I was a part of this isolated, yet expansive world of video-chatters. I volunteered my time as a “Tech Support” contact for iVisit, assisting others to get connected and become a part of this community. I wasn’t just chatting and having fun with friends, I was helping people, too. I was part of something, in a way that I had never been part of anything before. I divided my time between working at the Help Desk and chatting with friends in the various rooms that we had each created. Our spaces, our own little worlds all connected by ether and coding and our sense of community.

Here in this space, I was a social butterfly, flitting from room to room to room and back again and at the same time, fluttering back down to help those who had problems, both technical and social, whenever I could. I found myself able to be a personality here and still be able to keep my anonymity. I could be a bitch, a friend, an expert, a voyeur … I could be anything that I wanted to be, depending on my mood.

I don’t know how long it took me to go from only the tech support and social rooms to the more risqué areas of iVisit, though I know it wasn’t very long. I was so curious about the “other side” of what video chatting could be, but for at least a month or two, I was cautious and held back.

One night, it just happened. I found myself in a chat room, watching two girls and three men as they virtually helped each other out of their clothes and typed all of the naughty things that they wish the others were doing to them as they began to touch themselves, teasing themselves and those watching, as they progressed from partial nudity and provocative poses to full nudity and hardcore masturbation. It didn’t take long before I found my fingers pressing hard into the wet center of my panties and my breathing becoming labored as I came right along with the other two girls on my screen. Then, the sight that converted me forever; all three of the men, stroking themselves furiously as their heads were thrown back and within seconds of each other, exploding across the frame of their videos. It was one of the most erotic sights I had ever seen. Porn didn’t hold a candle to this reality of individuals allowing me to watch them, to join them in their own private release. After that, I didn’t find myself in the social chat rooms very often.

Each night, when the kids were in bed and my husband was working the swing shift on the flight-line, I was right there in front of my computer, hidden away in the newly created Adult area of iVisit, stripping off my clothing and masturbating for all of the world to see, right along with everyone else who had found that they not only loved to be seen, they loved the exhibitionism of baring their bodies and being everything from caring and sensual to crass and brutal while any and everyone watched.

I developed several different personalities on iVisit, each with their own screen-name and quirks. I wasn’t trying to hide who I was really, I simply logged on the appropriate personality for my mood. When I was working at the Help Desk, I was the bright and smiling gal who was there to answer your questions and do my best to get everything working right for you, Kedral. When I was in my own room on the server, my little corner of the Adult universe, Kedra, who was fun and flirty and would tease you until you begged for more. Though these names were similar, I tried to keep them separate for one main reason: those who came into the tech support room didn’t always want to be recognized as a “perv” and there were many instances when more professional clients of the site would visit the “other” areas and didn’t want to be recognized either. Keeping others’ embarrassment level to a minimum was always important to me.

When visiting the more fetish oriented rooms, Kiya or Gia, depending on whether I wanted to be seen as the submissive willing to try anything, Kaiya or as the Domme, Gia. Neither of these names was ever associated with a face. I never allowed the cam to move higher than my throat and I always masked my features with specific jewelry or clothing. I wanted each of my personalities to be viewed as different people, though all of my closest friends knew each and every name and the whys behind the masquerade for those who didn’t know me in my other guises.

In 2001, when we, iVisit, were asked if our software could be featured in the movie Online, I was asked by a long time friend on the site, “Why don’t you do that? You could easily be Jordan, ya know.” Jordan being one of the main characters of the movie, a video-chat model who was paid to do what I did on iVisit every night! Immediately, I was on Google, searching for web-cam sites that paid models to “play.” Within the week, I had snapped a few new pictures and clicked the Submit button on three different sites’ applications.

Yes! Approved!

I can’t begin to tell you how nervous I was, that first time. My fingers were shaking, I was sweating in my skimpy lingerie and I couldn’t stop thinking, “What the hell am I doing? This is never going to work!”

Typing a password had never been so difficult for me. Even now, I get butterflies in my stomach with the memory. I remember sitting in my office, my fingers trembling on the keyboard as I stared at the screen; a black window with the words “ROOM EMPTY” were taunting me for what seemed like an hour. The flicker of the screen and a name appearing making my heart jump into my throat. Scanning the info box to see that it had only been about six minutes since I had logged on and now there was someone in my room!

At the first site I worked for, the only thing that a customer could see was a picture of me and then text between the two of us, except for the first 15minutes that I was online. He had joined my room in time to see and hear me for a few minutes and I had never been so insecure in front of a camera before.

He was great though. Wherever he is, I hope that he has some idea of my gratitude for making that first foray so easy for me. He started me out with light conversation, questions about what I would do in a private chat (me having no idea how to respond and turning the question back on him) and then the sight of three more names appearing on the screen. As soon as one of the new entries spoke, my screen flickered again and suddenly I was live, in a private room with the first person who’d spoken to me.

My submissive nature and the sweetness of this first customer combined to make that first experience fantastic. For the first few minutes, I did nothing more than follow his instructions and base every movement on what he had requested. At some point, I remember glancing at the screen and seeing, “Relax baby, I want you to cum with me.” That was all it took. I was soaking my panties in seconds and I closed my eyes and let myself go just as if I was back on iVisit, playing with someone who had seen me naked a thousand times.

Apparently, I impressed him with the fact that I didn’t fake my responses to him. I didn’t try to be anything more than who I was and though I was taking my leads from him, I was completely involved in what was happening. He became my first regular customer and for years, if I changed to a new site, he was right there, the very first day as my first customer. I can honestly say that he is one of the main reasons that I have become so addicted to being a web-cam model and I thank him for always making me feel so special.

In 2005, a lot of drama happened in my life and I made some drastic changes.

My husband of nine years and I split up, I moved, I traveled, and somehow I found myself in Canada watching television when I came across the series Webdreams. I couldn’t believe it! Here was a documentary series about what I do for a living! I was glued to my screen.

I started watching the series and I fell in love with the people who were being followed. I kept thinking, “That is the type of company that I want to work for. These people get it! How cool that the owner and the manager are so easy to relate to. Gods, I wish I worked for them!” And what’s this? The headquarters of the company being showcased is right here in the city? I have to find their website! I have to apply for a job there! Where can I find the phone number? I have to call RIGHT NOW!!

Dialing those digits was so hard. Ya know those scenes in movies where people pick up the phone, start to dial, slam the phone back down, pick it up again, dial and let it ring once, hang up and then finally get up the nerve to go through with it? That was me.

I stammered and I stuttered and I made a complete idiot of myself for the first two or three minutes of the call. Thankfully, MediaGuy Greg was used to dealing with nervous callers and had the patience to speak to me long enough for me to get out the request for an interview. He got my phone number and promised to have his boss call me back.

Twisted scenario of twisted scenarios, you’re never gonna believe what happened. Less than ten minutes after speaking to Greg, I got a phone call. Bouncing to the phone like a happy puppy, I thought it was “the boss” calling me back. Little did I know.

It was a call that I wanted to receive, don’t get me wrong, but it was a call telling me that I was leaving the country in four days and that I would be gone for at least four months! Minutes after finally getting off my ass and doing something proactive following the drama of the year and BLAM! Yes, still a positive move, but now what do I do? The only thing that I could do; I hung up the phone and started sorting clothes.

Five minutes later, the phone rings again and it’s Mark Prince, the owner and CEO of LCN/2Much and LiveCamNetwork.com. EEK! The conversation, while lasting more than half an hour, boiled down to this:

Me: Hello?

Prince: Yes, Hello. Is this Kedra?

Me: Yes, it is.

Prince: This is Mark, I was given a message to call you back about an interview?

Me: *sheepish and blushing* Yeah, here’s the thing…I really want to speak to you about working with you, but…ummm…I just found out that I’m going to be in South Africa for the next four months. *embarrassed giggle*

Prince: Ummm…Okayyyy?

Me: Honestly, I realize that it sounds completely crazy, but I just got the phone call a few minutes ago.

Prince: How about this? When are you getting back?

Me: April or May.

Prince: Okay. When you get back, give me a call if you’re still interested and we’ll sit down for an interview.

Me: Great! Thank you so much!

Prince: Have a good trip!

Me: I will call you when I get back.

I swear, I hung up the phone, buried my face in a pillow and just screamed for a second. I felt so stupid and I was sure that he thought that I was a loon. I can look back on that conversation and laugh now, but at the time I felt like a loon.

Off I went to Cape Town, South Africa and then back again to make another phone call to the 2Much offices.

This time, I was a little more confident, though I did wonder if he remembered the loony chick who’d called and then bailed on him just minutes apart, a few months earlier. I set up an interview with Mark.

Wow! What a difference from all of the people I had worked for before as a web-cam model. Here was a down to earth, easy to talk to, real live person who didn’t treat me like a piece of meat that would make him a buck. My fifteen minute interview had somehow turned into more than an hour and I found myself with not one, but two new jobs. Yes, I would be working for LiveCamNetwork.com as a web-cam model, but I would also be working for 2Much as a Sales Rep! What a day!

I had gone, in less than two hours time from a web-cam girl without a site to work on, to an employee of a company which I could respect and enjoy working for. In the almost four years that I have been with LCN and 2Much , I’ve never regretted making that phone call.

I’ve found a home away from home in the studio and a family of models and chatters that I love dearly. I get to have multiple orgasms for hours each week and gain more respect for the adult entertainment industry every single day. As ‘Head of Sales’ for 2Much, I’ve had the pleasure of meeting some of the biggest names in porn and helping some wonderful girls become amazing performers. I’ve found a community of friends and associates that I hope to never lose. I’m grateful to all of those who’ve helped me to become more every day. I couldn’t be happier than I am, right now! To sum it all up, I love this job!