SPRINGFIELD, Ore. and LAKEVIEW, Mich. – Most of the time when you read about porn addiction, the focus is on all the bad news facing porn addicts, like how watching so much porn is going to break your dick, transform you into a misogynistic serial rapist, ruin your credit rating and gradually reduce your brain to the size of a chickpea.

Due to the media’s obsessive focus on all things negative, you might not be aware of just how much good news there is out there for porn addicts, including the knowledge no matter how far down the pornographic rabbit hole you have descended, recovery from your addiction is always less than $100 away.

With the list of resources available to the modern porn addict growing day by day, it can be hard for people seeking help to know whom to trust — and far more importantly, whose self-help products to buy, or whether help is best found in a book, a DVD or even a podcast.

Thankfully, to cut right through all this porn-addiction recovery confusion, there are two entities with the very same name: Belt of Truth Ministries.

First, there’s Belt of Truth Ministries of Springfield, Ore., the most visible member of which is a fellow named Stephen Kuhn, a former porn addict who now helps other porn addicts, mostly by creating helpful lists. Kuhn’s latest book, for example, is Ten Lies Men Believe About Porn — a great resource for those who found Kuhn’s Ten Lies Men Believe About Porn blog post to be a little scant on detail.

If a paltry 10 things doesn’t sound like enough to you, have no fear, because Kuhn will soon publish a tome that raises the stakes by no less than 42: DONE: 52 Amazing Things that Became True of You the Moment You Trusted Christ.

What’s that you say? You’re not much of a reader, due to the severe eyestrain you’ve incurred from watching roughly 11 hours of porn a day since 2006? No worries, friend! The good folks at Belt O’ Truth Oregon have you covered — with a 30-lesson course called X3pure.

Available for the low, low price of $97, X3pure encompasses 15 video sessions. It also includes a downloadable “companion workbook” with written exercises, so you probably will have to read at least a little bit, but presumably all the text is brief and in Jesus-approved bullet-point form.

Lest you think the guys at Belt O’ Truth have forgotten about the ladies, please note X3pure for women was developed by author and public speaker Shellie R. Warren, “a woman who has a passion for sexual wholeness and purity.” At one time, she “struggled with a lifestyle of sexual sin,” according to Belt O’ Truth’s Materials of Marketing.

I’ll admit I was skeptical about the value of these X3Pure workshops, until I read the testimonials provided by a bunch of people who go by only one name, like Pelé, only not quite as distinctive. Take this review from “John,” for example:

[QUOTE]The X3pure workshop is excellent. It was so nice to be able to go through the program at my own pace. My wife went through part of it with me and she loved the fact that the speaker was saying things to me that she wanted to, but didn’t feel like she could.[/QUOTE]

Wow, that’s great John! You should totally compare notes with your mononominal brethren “Joel” and “Joseph,” the latter of whom praised the course for changing his perspective on his relationship with his wife and God — although I must say I’m not sure I approve of so-called ‘open relationships,” even when the third corner of the love triangle is embodied by The Almighty.

Not to be outdone, Belt of Truth Ministries of Lakeview, Mich., has some spiffy addiction-fighting media of their own: A six-DVD series called A Greater Lust. What’s more (or perhaps less), A Greater Lust can be yours for the rock-bottom price of just 50 American dollars.

Skeptics, cynics, atheists and spiritually lost people who do not understand the nature of The Lord might ask, “If these same-name ministries are really convinced porn addiction is such a widespread problem, and if they’re really all about helping their fellow man beat it, why do the Twin Belts of Truth charge for their assistance, rather than offer to help porn addicts for free?”

To understand the answer, one must first consider just how much help these erotica-fighting evangelists are offering. Over the course of the X3pure program, for example, topics addressed include “unwanted sexual behavior, understanding psychology, conditional vs. unconditional love, cycles of addiction” and “creating a new thought/belief system.”

Sure, this sounds like a lot of ground to cover in 15 videos and workbook lessons, but nobody said beating your addiction would be easy. Just think of it as an exam you’re cramming for — only unlike your Chemistry 101 final, if you fail you’re going straight to hell, rather than changing maybe changing your major to English or (God forbid) Philosophy.

I’m sure some of you “share everything” millennial hippies are thinking you have just the solution: You’ll help the Belts of Faith spread the self-help gospel by burning copies of their lessons to distribute for free on DVD, or via torrents, or by going door to door like some sort of digital Mormon missionary (minus the bicycle) bearing a handful of Pirated Truth.

According to the folks at Belt O’ Truth Lakeview, there are several very good and liturgically-consistent reasons why you should NOT thus pass along the Truth embodied by A Greater Lust to suffering porn addicts who might not be able to pay the asking price.

“What we’ve found is that when people are given a DVD that isn’t a burned copy — in other words, it’s the full-sized case with color graphics on the case wrap and on the disc — they are much more likely to watch it and value it,” the Michigan Faith-Belters explain on their website. “They feel that the person who gave it to them sacrificed something, and they are just more likely to give it a chance. Not to mention, they are more impressed by the product itself, which makes them more open to its contents once they do watch it.”

See? By passing along Pirated Truth, even with good intent, you might be unwittingly doing the work of the Porn Devil by devaluing the message. Plus, in case you haven’t noticed, distributing endless amounts of content for free is the way the porn industry does things these days, and this fact alone should be enough to tell you giving things away for free on the internet is evil — even if it isn’t specifically mentioned in Leviticus like homosexuality, eating shellfish, working on the Sabbath and letting your hair become unkempt.

Take heart porn addicts! Hope is out there — for a reasonable price, of course.