By Juicy Jay
Special to YNOT

Life and business are about the moments you don’t see coming, and Amsterdam is full of opportunities when you travel to Europe for the collection of conventions this Fall. Being located below sea level caused the country to be at war with the North Sea for hundreds of years, but these same struggles led to a rich and innovative history. The country engineered some of the most elaborate defenses from the sea and many other innovations — including waterbeds for cows (yes, really).

I have a lot of great memories from several trips to the iconic city, all the way back to my first trip when I was 10 years old. Needless to say, there wasn’t much time spent in the Red Light District at that time, and I didn’t know the coffee shops are not really meant for drinking coffee. For my family, being Dutch meant traveling to The Netherlands was a rite of passage. Despite its very “adult” reputation, the city has a lot of family-friendly destinations for the less morally corrupt. I didn’t even step foot in the Red Light District or check out one of the 200-plus coffee shops in the area until my third trip. Those previous years were spent touring things like the national history and art Rijksmuseum, windmills and Anne Frank house, eating everything possible at the Taste of Amsterdam food festival, and much, much more.

The first time I attended a convention in Amsterdam, we were treated to one of the canal cruises. That night we ate, drank and passed iconic sights including the first Heineken brewery (now the Heineken Experience tourist spot). Not to be outdone by culture, someone hired some “questionable” strippers who probably should have been paid to keep their clothes on. JuicyAds Publisher expert Wizzo always says “nothing good ever happens on a boat,” and once again he was correct.

That adventure set the adult theme for my first time in the city as an adult. I recommend you attend the city with an open mind, since some experiences can be strange for tourists, including opportunities like dining on horse steak at local restaurants. (Horse tastes like beef, by the way.)

There are more than 1.1 million people in Holland and more than 1 million bicycles. The first thing obvious about the city when you arrive is bicycles provide the majority of transport: 60 percent of trips are made by bike. You’ll find hundreds of bikes parked everywhere and bike paths everywhere, as well. The cyclists in the city are somewhat fearless, and some more tolerant than others to oblivious or ignorant tourists who wander onto the paths. Even as a mountain bike racer for 15 years, I found myself intimidated by the cyclists. Unfortunately, accidents involving cyclists are common.

This brings me to the cold fact that not all of my experiences in Amsterdam have been grand adventures, and defining moments in our lives are both good and bad. During my last convention in Amsterdam, I was returning from the night’s party with dozens of other attendees when a young cyclist was cut off by our bus and struck the side. She was run over and dragged to her death all the way to the doors of the show hotel. It was a horrifying incident that haunts me to this day.

The dangers are everywhere. A few years ago, a pair of attendees (and friends of mine) were hit by a car, but they were lucky enough to walk away mostly unhurt. After one too many happy hour drinks, I myself was fully intoxicated, sick and teetering over a canal to the point that Sam from MrSkin and others felt the need to rescue me from potential tragedy. These types of things should serve as a reminder that Amsterdam is a city of good and bad decisions, and there’s a lot of trouble to get into when you’re looking for it … and even when you’re not.

For a complete day, travel to the Museumplein (commonly called the museum district or museum square) where you’ll find the modern, iconic “I Amsterdam” sign, a must-selfie attraction. It’s so gigantic, you’ll want to bring a friend to snap the shot. Stroll the surrounding area, where you may find a street vendor selling traditional street foods: croquettes (a yummy deep-fried roll of bread crumbs filled with veggies and meat) and French fries traditionally served with a dollop of mayo.

For the alcoholic, just steps away is the House of Bols. The world’s oldest distillery has been crafting spirits since 1575 (almost 450 years). You may know it best for Bols Blue Curacao, but the brand has 39 unique flavors that can be made into hundreds of drinks. At the House of Bols you can review the entire history of how the Dutch invented Genever — what is now the national liquor of the Netherlands and Belgium. It tastes like gin, because it is gin. Well, factually that is the other way around: Gin, as we know it, is actually the generic knock-off of the original Genever.

Your ticket to the museum doubles as your drink ticket at the bar after the tour. On my first visit this was fairly inexpensive (€15) and entitled me to several drinks or shots, but that’s changed more recently. The value of the drinks was enough to just bypass all the antiquities, history and exhibits and head straight for the bar. The gift shop has a large collection of well-priced souvenirs and glassware, too.

Across the street is the Van Gogh Museum, where you can learn the life story and see the work of one of the world’s most famous painters. Depending how you hold your liquor, it’s probably best you visit this respected museum before wandering over to the House of Bols. The Rijksmuseum and Heineken Experience are just blocks away. For the shopper, “the most expensive street in Amsterdam” is also just blocks away, and there you’ll find all your favorite luxury brands.

The night life is impressive, mostly due to the large amount of tourism, including sex tourism. Beyond clubs and the endless supply of sidewalk cafes and places to have a drink, the Red Light District is a place where it’s possible to window-shop — literally — for a woman to have sex with. Making bad decisions? That’ll cost you several hundred euros, but since prostitution and operating a brothel are legal, at least you won’t see the inside of a Dutch jail (probably).

While the drug laws of the country are very liberal, they can vary. As a tourist, it’s possible to be turned away from a coffee shop in some regions. While drug use is tolerated, public intoxication is not, and you can be arrested for bad behavior. So, try to control yourself. For those visiting the coffee shops, you’ll find a variety of possible adventures including raw marijuana, edibles and pre-rolled joints. It’s worth noting Europeans often enjoy their weed mixed with tobacco, which may come as an unexpected and less than desired surprise to North Americans.

You’ll probably always regret the things you didn’t do, but not the things you did. Be sure to wander, party until ridiculous hours and get business done — and leave without regrets!

Juicy Jay is the founder of JuicyAds.com, “the sexy advertising network.” The company, which released the latest version of its innovative pop-under code in August, provides a marketplace where both publishers and advertisers can increase their revenues.

Image © joshua williams.