God May Forgive Farrah’s Sins, but Not Her Incoherence
AUSTIN – Whatever one may think about Farrah Abraham reportedly being axed from her MTV gig over her various connections to the adult industry, it hardly should come as a surprise to anyone.
Mainstream entities, even those that routinely trade on and profit from the public’s interest in sex, tend to want to keep a certain amount of distance between their brands and porn.
What I find more interesting than MTV’s (apparent) firing of Abraham from the latest incarnation of the reality-TV train wreck Teen Mom and the company’s presumed reason for doing it is Abraham’s self-published reaction to the news, which lands somewhere between righteous indignation, befuddled self-pity and a largely nonsensical declaration of victory.
“Even though #Viacom fired me today they couldn’t help but to exploit myself & my daughter for their promotional gain,” Abraham’s Facebook post begins. “Viacom let me go because as a Business Mogul I act like an adult and part take in adult promotions and activities that other adults do for FREE or in private!”
One line into her complaint, and already I’m confused.
First, if she’s a truly a “business mogul,” why is Abraham concerned about losing her spot on a reality-TV show? I understand that in the age of Donald Trump and Mark Cuban, some people may believe there’s a strong correlation between having business success and being on reality TV, but I’d argue the stronger connection is between being on reality TV and being a shameless, self-promotional jackass.
Second, I’d like to think most adults “part taking” in adult promotions and activities would follow through on their promises, including promises to perform anal sex acts, rather than leave the company hosting their webcam show holding the bag and issuing refunds.
“Even though I have successfully been to gentlemen’s clubs appearances they filmed and Viacom filmed me at the AVN’s & Viacom shows and glorifies showing couples having sex on their network but as stated today ‘my brands press out shines the Teen mom Viacom press,’” Abraham wrote in the next pseudo-sentence in her Facebook post.
My lack of understanding of this statement is of the literal variety: No matter how many times I read it, I still can only guess at what Abraham is trying to communicate. I think she’s saying a) Viacom is composed of a bunch of hypocrites (which is true, to be fair), and b) the amount of publicity she receives exceeds that of the show itself.
If my interpretation is correct, it only increases my confusion over Abraham’s readily-apparent anger and frustration over being fired from the show. If her brand is already the more popular and visible of the two, she ought to be able to shrug this whole thing off and go about being the wildly successful business mogul she claims to be.
“Sad such a phenomenal show will no longer have its biggest talent on the show because of women hating, sex shaming, hate crimes, selfish, Weinstein company power trip behaviors against a professional hard working, honest mother,” Abraham continued.
Some might quibble with Abraham’s claim to honesty, given the history of her varying claims about the “sex tape” that first established her presence in the adult industry (an industry of which she occasionally claims not to be a part, it’s worth noting).
In any event, Abraham’s almost-coherent response to getting fired doesn’t end there — not by a long shot.
“I’m proud of myself not giving in to be sex shamed by Viacom network, Proud to not have a network take away financial opportunities for my goals, proud to be an Advocate for a healthy sex life, safe sex, teen pregnancy prevention and so much more while I run companies in different feilds and scale them,” she added. “Cheers to basically winning against hurtful disgusting executives who do way more in their personal lives then what I could ever be judged for – I will never be broken by hateful wrong people and if everyone else is brained washed, on drugs, pills, scheming thinking their at the top of their power trips I WISH to always be apart – I give this chapter of my life to GOD & all of his glory & to justice in court.”
Hmm. I’m not entirely sure what to say about this part, but I’m inclined to cut myself some slack on this bit of confusion. My hunch is even God finds this part of Abraham’s rant to be something of a head-scratcher.
“If God’s for you who dare be against you,” Abraham asked rhetorically. “I look forward to writing my first business book and sharing all of these life changing experiences in detail, from scheming producers & executives to jealous celebrities, what to do to over come, not be shattered & stay true to the free world we live in!”
Stop the presses: Farrah Abraham is going to write a “business book.” I’ll be sure to reserve space for it right next to my copy of Good to Great and next to another open spot on the shelf which I hope to fill with a tome of marketing wisdom offered by LaVar Ball.
Abraham concluded her post with a bit of an inspirational pep talk to her readers… I think. It could also be read as advice directed at herself.
“#USA #AMERICA Get out there a keep being you!” she exclaimed. “Your much better then all the politics & the people at the top who could never be at the top if it wasn’t for you! #godisgood.”
Rather than try to interpret her closing words, I’ll just wrap things up with a word of friendly advice for Abraham: When you write that business book, be sure to get a significant amount of help from a very good, very patient editor.
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