SAN DIEGO – Let’s say you’ve been targeted with a lawsuit in which some quite serious allegations have been made, and you know the other side has a fairly strong case. Let’s further assume you have ample reason to believe that as the lawsuit plays out, there’s a decent chance you and your company could wind up in serious trouble – not just in the form of civil damages, but potential criminal charges, as well.

Do you:

(a) seek to settle the lawsuit as quickly and quietly as possible

(b) resolve to fight the case, but watch your Ps and Qs and keep your nose clean during the run-up to trial

Or:

(c) pay your girlfriend $300 a week to harass the lawyers representing the plaintiff suing you?

Well, if you’re one of the bright bulbs behind GirlsDoPorn.com, evidently you opt for (c), because you’re a fucking idiot.

Look, I know me calling someone an idiot is common enough of an occurrence that it’s probably hard to know whether I really think these guys are dumber than Terry Bradshaw, or if I’m just being an asshole (again).

So, let me be perfectly clear: I think the guys behind GirlsDoPorn.com, however many of them there may be who materially contributed to the series of disastrous and despicable decisions which led them to where they are now, have a combined IQ which falls short of that of the average potato.

The Courthouse News article linked to above details the testimony of Jamia McDonald, a woman who says she dated GirlsDoPorn producer Kevin Gibson for two years and “spent every weekend at the home he shared with his ‘business partner,’ GirlsDoPorn owner Michael Pratt.”

And what did McDonald say in her testimony?

“McDonald said… that Gibson paid her $300 a week in 2018 to make harassing phone calls to attorney Brian Holm, one of the attorneys representing the Does.”

Assuming this is true, what was the point? Did Gibson and Pratt think opposing counsel would be cowed by the harassment to the extent they dropped the case? Was it just done out of spite? Whatever the reason, the phone calls allegedly were just the start of the stupid where this harassment is concerned.

“A nude photo of three people shown in court Tuesday included a man who appeared to be Holm,” Courthouse News reports. “McDonald said she was instructed by Gibson to text the doctored image to Holm’s cellphone in addition to calling him multiple times a day. She said she witnessed Gibson and Pratt edit the photo at an Airbnb they were staying at in San Diego.”

One of the less fortunate side effects of my choice of occupation is that I know a lot of lawyers. I’m talking hundreds of those motherfuckers. Right now, I’m picturing each of them as targets of a harassment campaign like the one described by McDonald and imagining how they’d respond.

Some would just laugh it off and go back to work, not even a little curious as to what was behind the calls and texts. Others would endeavor to connect the harassment to a case they had worked, or were working, and redouble their efforts to take down the opposing party. Not one of them would back down, back off, or back up.

According to McDonald, Gibson “told her the attorneys ‘were the ones stalking and harassing him,’ but noted he also hired his friends to harass one of the Does at her job at a San Diego nightclub.”

As bad an idea as harassing an attorney is to begin with, it’s an even worse idea to subsequently admit to the third party you’ve employed to harass the attorney that you’ve got a different third party harassing that attorney’s clients, as well. Conspiracies don’t get easier to hide from view as you add more people to them, after all — and $300 a week doesn’t go far as hush money, particularly once the FBI shows up knocking at your poorly paid co-conspirator’s door.

Setting aside for a moment how abjectly shitty the alleged behavior of the GirlsDoPorn guys was throughout their dealings with the Jane Does now suing them, the thing that stands out most to me about this case is just how senseless and pointless is the GDP approach to running an adult business.

There’s nothing remotely new about “first timer” porn, or “real amateur” porn, or whatever you want to call the kind of content produced by GirlsDoPorn. Dozens of adult brands have put out similar content over the years and while GirlsDoPorn isn’t the first to land themselves in hot water, many others have run their businesses for years, even decades, without any significant drama, let alone winding up the target of a prosecution.

It’s very simple, really: If you have to resort to acts of fraud, making false claims, employing third parties to aid in your deceptions and pressuring performers to sign agreements which don’t reflect the deal as it had been to described to them previously, you’re a terrible pornographer. You’re not just a morally terrible pornographer, but terrible in the sense of being utterly incompetent at your job.

There’s no shortage of people – female, male or trans – who are not just willing to perform in porn, but eager to do so. Even entirely setting aside ethical considerations, there’s no practical reason to resort to trickery, chicanery or false dealing in creating porn, regardless of the genre.

You don’t make more money by lying to performers – and you sure as shit don’t win lawsuits by having your girlfriend send around doctored photos of the lawyer representing the performers to whom you lied.

What you do accomplish by lying to models and harassing their lawyers is pissing off people who can hurt you and your business. You wind up with your assets frozen by judges. And if you leave the country right as your civil trial is getting started – and just before the cops come looking for you – you end up being branded a fugitive.

For his sake, I hope Michael Pratt is better at being on the lam than he was at running a porn company. If not, he’ll be on a plane, in handcuffs and back on his way to the U.S., soon enough. My guess is that Pratt’s not done being dumb, though. Hell, right now he’s probably amusing himself by photoshopping Judge Kevin Enright’s head onto the body of a gay porn star – and maybe lining up a buddy’s girlfriend to email it to the judge, for good measure.

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