For me, fate has influenced sex, swinging, my porn career, and various personal matters. Mostly, it’s had a thankfully positive effect, but of course sometimes fate can have a negative effect. .For me, fate has influenced sex, swinging, my porn career, and various personal matters. Mostly, it’s had a thankfully positive effect, but of course sometimes fate can have a negative effect.

Had I not lucked out and gotten the opportunity to make my case directly to the actual bank manager, who was covering the Student Loan Office while the normal bank official was out to lunch, I might not have had the opportunity to go to Siena College (a Catholic college) while also working at a supermarket 30 miles away in my hometown of Saratoga Springs, New York – fate! Had I not been lucky enough to get enrolled in a limited state program whereby I could serve both in my hometown National Guard unit while simultaneously participating in ROTC at Siena, I might not have been commissioned as a Regular Army 2d Lt and served, among other assignments, in Vietnam/Saudi Arabia/West Point, and retired as a Lt Col – fate! Had I not married my high school sweetheart of many years, I wouldn’t have parented two great children, or been the grandfather of the four precious grandchildren whom I enjoy watching grow up – fate! Had my wife of 22 years not decided to abruptly run off and leave me and the kids/dog/house/friends to explore life with a guy having a full head of hair, I might never have subsequently wandered into the world of swinging, which eventually somehow led me to an amateur porn set where I was drafted to be a stunt cock when the hired stud was having a bad day and couldn’t adequately perform (believe me, I’ve since had my share of “bad days”) – fate! Had I not lucked out and done reasonably well in two amateur sex scenes the next day, I might never have pursued a career as a porn star – fate!

Candidly, I am still in awe at my good fortune to be a member of the porn talent pool during these last ten years. Yes, fate offers opportunities for good things – but, there also can be some negative fate in life. I think the key is to accept fate and make opportunities out of the favorable side of fate, while learning and adjusting in a self-positive way from the effects of the negative side of fate.

I’m seeing more indications that women want their fair share of access to porn. Besides the numerous studies and media reports, I see it in a bevy of examples in everyday life; in fact, just this morning after doing a jog on the beach and stopping for coffee, two college woman approached me and asked me if I was the “Screw My Wife, Please” guy (see www.wildlifexxx.com). They applauded the fact they no longer feel like they have to hide their personal need for porn as a stimulant for self-pleasure and enjoyment of life. They told me that their college dorms and groups have many women who have personally and happily shed their societal and family restrictions against porn.

At a recent all-day seminar titled “Sex, Soul, and Fantasies,” at which Seymour Butts, myself, and four other expert presenters addressed such issues as filming sex, BDSM for couples, sex toy selection and usage, lovemaking techniques, foreplay, etc., many females attendees and couples also voiced their demand to have even more non-judgmental access to porn and adult entertainment and activities. This all-day seminar (www.learningannex.com), which was held on a Saturday in San Diego and on the following day in Los Angeles, was packed with people wanting to enjoy life, their sex partners, and themselves (i.e., masturbation).

I also acted as the moderator for the seminars, thus I was with the “students” all day and observed how they seemed a little reserved as they entered the classroom, but later relaxed and beamed at the content of the seminar. By mid-day, couples were hand-holding and flirting with each other (some actually were close to “making out”), while singles were aglow with freshness, new concepts, information, and the freedom to go home and explore new ideas and techniques with their significant other and/or themselves. I felt proud to be a part of the contribution we made to these people’s lives. I believe that those of us who produce porn need to be aware that the high percentage of males to whom some companies cater almost exclusively is slowly fading, and that woman want nice porn, the kind that excites them, and not just “rain-coaters”.

Bits and Pieces

I recently corresponded with the Department of Defense, volunteering to go to Iraq on a USO hand-shake/meet and greet/autographing/appearance tour. I was upfront with them about my “occupation” (I even listed my www.davecummings.com site in my paperwork submission) and I documented my military background and Middle East experiences, but they haven’t been quick in responding – I imagine I’m somewhat of a hot “potato” (hey, Dan, is that the correct spelling?), so they might be staffing it around the Pentagon to find the best way to say “no, thank you” out of concern that the media might make an issue of DOD using government funds for travel/lodging/security/etc on a porn star as part of a USO Tour!

Believe it or not, I spent a number of hours last weekend in a church where one of my teenage granddaughters was a member of a Children’s Choir competition of groups from around America. I couldn’t help but wonder how many parents there, and/or at the event’s Awards Dinner and Seaworld Shows, love sex and porn in the privacy of their own home but are made to feel guilty about it because of their church.

Lastly, let me tell you about my present political thoughts about the upcoming elections. I am making a major personal effort to become an informed voter about local elections where I fear the incumbents and challengers who are hypocrites in their perceived need to be politically recognized as anti-porn (child porn is something we ALL detest, so I encourage politicians to attack that aspect, but don’t lump LEGAL adult porn in with efforts to rid us of the ILLEGAL child porn), or anti-gentlemen’s clubs, or sex-police interfering in relations between consenting adults! Nationally, though I’m happy that it was Bush (not Gore) who was handling post-9/11 anti-terrorism actions, I am VERY upset with the way Bush doesn’t strictly separate Church and State, and I’m even more upset with the way he’s letting his Attorney General and Justice Department appointees target porn in general, instead of specifically attacking child porn while leaving legal porn free to be enjoyed by citizens, many of whom do indeed vote! At the same time, I’m not a blind fan of some of Kerry’s background and present positions. I still have a lot of personal thinking to do before I make a firm decision about my vote, but unless Ashcroft and his biased appointees resign and Bush publicly promises to respect the line between Church and State, I’m probably NOT voting for Bush. I urge everyone to become involved with learning about local, state, and national candidates, and to register and vote. As we saw in 2002, even a small number of votes can dramatically change election results, and our freedoms and lives!

Stay safe, be happy, become a registered and informed voter, and be nice to yourself, your loved ones, and others!

Dave Cummings is a porn star, producer and director. He can be reached at dave@davecummings.com.