Fake Ejaculate Cums to the Rescue
By Peter Berton
ORLANDO, Fla. – It’s every porn producer’s nightmare: The sex scene has been moving right along, everyone is set for the big finish … and the male performer can’t deliver the money shot. Other than tear out his hair, fire the underperformer, and start over, what is a producer to do?
In all likelihood, nothing can save the male talent’s career. The producer, though, has an alternative for those awkward moments: fake cum.
Magic Money Shot provides the hapless performer with a viscous substance that looks like real jizz. At the right moment, the male talent squeezes a bulb and a realistic-looking stream shoots from the end of a thin tube hidden along the off-camera side of the penis.
The fake cum — suitably called Spunk — comes in two flavors, both of which are available in seven-ounce and 21-ounce containers.
YNOT.com spoke with creator Max Huhn to get the scoop on the goop.
YNOT: How does the Magic Money Shot work, from start to finish?
Max Huhn: It’s pretty straightforward. You just load the artificial cum into the bulb, connect the bulb to the hose, charge the system, and squirt. It’s that simple.
During a shoot, you’d have your male performer hold the tube on the underside of his penis with one hand. The tubing would pass behind him, through his legs and against one side of his scrotum — away from the camera — and then his other hand would hold the bulb next to his buttocks and out of the shot.
The only tricky part is making sure the tubing doesn’t show from the point of view of the camera, which isn’t hard if you pay attention to the shot.
The other thing is just to practice the pumping before you shoot so you get a feel for distance and how much pressure to apply to the pump in order to make it look realistic. Most people get the hang of it after a couple of minutes.
The cool thing is that you can shoot it as far as you like and for as long as you like. So you can make a very realistic three to four shots, or you can go bukakke-crazy and shoot the entire seven ounces and soak the entire crew.
Boys will be boys. It’s actually a lot of fun.
Does the liquid really look like semen? Is it edible, for the sake of the talent?
Yes and yes.
Everyone’s ejaculate is different, from watery to thick, and even the color varies. We came up with a good average color and thickness that translates well on camera. And yes, you can eat it, although I wouldn’t recommend guzzling too much. Certainly it’s not toxic, though, and you can get it in your mouth and swallow it without any problems.
We make two types: vanilla cream for those who have a low tolerance for the taste of the real thing, and our “authentic” mix, which tastes and smells) pretty close to the real thing. If you want a certain reaction, one could be the better choice than the other, but in the end the viewer can’t tell the difference.
Where did you get the idea for this product?
I did a shoot with a couple last year, and the guy just couldn’t get off. He normally has no problems, but for whatever reason, on this particular day things weren’t working out.
We left him and his partner alone three or four times for 10-20 minutes each time, to give them a chance to recharge and get it together. But each time we started filming again, it wasn’t happening. About three hours and several pizzas later, we finally got there.
Everyone was pretty cool about it and we had fun, but at the same time I couldn’t help thinking that it just made no sense. I mean, we had 95 percent of the shoot in the can in the first hour, and we spent the next three hours on the remaining 5 percent. The math didn’t add up for me, since it wasn’t exactly a 4th of July finish in the end anyway. That’s when the light bulb went on.
How did you develop the product?
I began by searching the web for terms like “fake sperm,” “stage cum” and “synthetic semen,” as well as for ejaculatory devices, and came up with virtually nothing. So I started looking around for all sorts of liquids that looked like cum, from coconut body wash to tapioca to white glues, hand lotion, custard, hair conditioner, you name it. Each liquid has its own particular problem, though, from viscosity to color to the type of chemicals used, and even problems with preservatives and whether or not it would withstand freezing.
In the end, I realized that instead of looking for a commercially available product, I could develop one myself. That was one half of the equation. It took months of playing around in the kitchen like Walter White, but we got there in the end.
The other half of the equation was trying to come up with a simple device that would actually squirt the product effectively, and that took just as long to resolve. It’s such a simple product when you see it, but it took a long time to come up with something that actually worked reliably.
Has it found a market yet?
I’ve used it, for sure. We only launched in early July, so we’re waiting eagerly to hear producer reactions. I’m pretty sure once people try it and realize how much time they can save, it will be a hit. Even if you just keep it as a backup device for a rainy day, it’s worth the investment.
If I’d had the product the day my talent couldn’t finish, I could have just whipped it out and saved everyone a couple of hours waiting around. Nobody would have known the difference.
Do you have other similar products in mind?
No. This one took up way too much time.