GEORGE TOWN, Cayman Islands – In a truly shocking turn of events that only could have been anticipated by anyone over the age of seven equipped with a functioning neural system, the Internet Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers is concerned the registry operating the .sucks generic Top-Level Domain is rolling out its product in a less-than-honorable fashion.

In a letter to U.S. Federal Trade Commission Chairwoman Edith Ramirez and John Knubley of Canada’s Office of Consumer Affairs, ICANN General Counsel and Secretary John Jeffrey reported he received a formal letter from the president of ICANN’s Intellectual Property Constituency “setting out a number of concerns of intellectual property rights holders related to Vox Populi’s proposed rollout.”

Vox Populi Ltd., headquartered in Canada but registered in the Cayman Islands, is the registry in charge of the .sucks gTLD.

“The [Intellectual Property Constituency] described the proposed business practices and actions of Vox Populi as ‘illicit’ and also ‘predatory, exploitative and coercive,’” Jeffrey wrote in the letter, which also asked the FTC and OCA to “consider assessing and determining whether Vox Populi is violating any laws or regulations enforced by your respective offices.

“We note that should the FTC or the OCA make a determination of illegal activity, it could be that Vox Populi will also be in breach of its registry agreement, and ICANN could then act consistently with its public interest goals and consumer and business protections to change these respective practices of the registry through its contractual agreement,” Jeffrey continued, adding ICANN is “currently evaluating other remedies available through the registry agreement.”

Under Vox Populi’s published fees for names falling under the “Sunrise Premium” heading, blocking a registered trade name or trademark costs $2,499 annually.

While $2500 is not an onerous sum for Fortune 500 companies wishing to forestall the existence of Apple.sucks or HomeDepot.sucks, even the $199 price tag to block non-premium names might prove a bit steep to avoid — say, MomAndPopHardware.sucks or YourNameHere.sucks.

The situation wasn’t just foreseeable, it was inevitable. Once ICANN opened the TLD floodgates with its any-word-goes gTLD structure, the likelihood new extensions would be pursued for gTLD-driven quasi-extortion was approximately 100 percent.

Under ICANN’s “detailed evaluation process,” as Jeffrey termed it in the letter to the FTC and OCA, prospective registries were subjected to some degree of scrutiny, but the scrutiny apparently didn’t extend to the registries’ proposed price structure, despite the obvious potential for individual .sucks domain names having high value as tools for extortion — not to mention defamation and brand-devaluation.

Once the initial agreement was signed, ICANN wound up in a registry contract with Vox Populi without retaining much control over how the new gTLD would be operated. Apparently, the terms of the agreement don’t leave ICANN much ability to affect the business practices of the registry, unless the registry is also found to be breaking the law.

Akram Atallah, head of ICANN’s global domains division, said ICANN isn’t inclined to come down on Vox Populi directly, unless the FTC or OCA finds the company has run afoul of either country’s laws or regulations.

“There are two sides to each point, and we are not going to be the judge on the legal foundations,” Atallah said. ‘We will let the legal authorities determine these things. These are issues that are not in ICANN’s remit.”

In other words, ICANN is here to accept a fat wad of cash from people who operate the gTLDs, not to concern themselves with what happens after accepting said fat wad of cash.

Not surprisingly, Vox Populi has a different, even noble, view of its mission, as well as the purpose — nay, the calling — of .sucks.

The company has published a YouTube video, replete with footage of Martin Luther King Jr. and somberly inspiring piano and strings, that taps none other than the Godfather of Consumer Advocacy himself, Ralph Nader, to anoint “sucks” a “protest word.”

A mission statement of sorts accompanies the video, positioning .sucks as an “easy-to-locate, ‘central town square’ available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.”

The TLD is “designed to help consumers find their voices and allow companies to find the value in criticism,” the statement notes. “Each dotSucks domain has the potential to become an essential part of every organization’s customer relationship management program.”

That’s Vox Populi’s story, as they tell it, anyway. If nothing else, it should be fun watching them stick to it, if and when the feds come calling.