Because the adult industry faces so much discrimination and negative press, we are always searching for solutions to create more understanding and acceptance. We know our work is valuable, yet we’re constantly fighting lawmakers who want to end us, payment providers who shut us down, platforms that ban us, pseudoscience claiming we do harm, and disdain and judgement from those finding out what we do for a living.
This week I speak with Dr. Lori Beth Bisbey an Accredited Advanced GSRD (gender, sex, relationship diversity) therapist (Pink Therapy), registered psychologist, sex and intimacy coach, and one of the stars on Open House: The Great Sex Experiment.
For over three decades, Dr. Bisbey has helped people to explore sex and intimacy as well as heal them from traumas.
In her own words: “I am on a mission to bring sex and conversations about sex out of the shadows and into the light of day and help people to embrace the myriad of relationship options so they can choose wisely. Everyone has the right to be authentic, explore and experiment with what arouses, excites and frees them.”
Read on to learn more about how Dr. Bisbey is creating a space for those in the mainstream to support our work by opening the dialogue about sex.
How did you get your start and what drew you to your very unique job?
I knew that my sexuality was unusual at puberty. At 19, I was the victim of extreme sexual violence and got post-traumatic stress disorder as a result.
I entered psychology seeking to treat PTSD and work with people who had unusual sexuality and relationship styles as I found therapists I had worked with had trouble dealing with what I was bringing to the table and tended to either find it daunting or believed that they needed to change my sexuality. Neither was helpful.
What surprising sexual issues do those in the adult industry face that are not talked about and how have you helped those in need who seek your services leave them behind?
Some face issues around orgasm which people not in the industry would find surprising.
Often these are related to trauma so I use specific methods to help them resolve it so they can move on in the present. Some suffer low libido, which is often very layered, so we work together to identify all the causes and address them.
What do you think are the positive mental health benefits for those who make a living from sex work and on the other side of the coin for those who view their work?
For the sex workers these are very varied: For some the work increases self-esteem, for others it makes independence possible, so they are able to care for themselves and any dependents – which means they avoid abusive and exploitive relationships.
For some sex workers, there are not benefits to their mental health.
For people who see sex workers: Benefits can include real human contact with someone who will meet their sexual needs without belittling them. Some people are unable to find or make social connections as a result of their lack of emotional and social skills and sex workers fulfill a vital service making it possible for them to experience physical intimacy and affection.
Pornography can give people the opportunity to explore desires without engaging in risky behavior and it can also help couples to talk about sex and desire. Also, it can provide release for people who are isolated and find it difficult to fantasize on their own.
How do you think we can we garner a more a positive viewpoint from the mainstream toward sex work?
Making it clear when people are choosing sex work.
Making the public aware of the protections for people choosing this work.
Making sure producers and providers don’t exploit workers or clients.
Legalizing sex work and having clear guidelines.
And by reminding the public that this is entertainment, and that education should be sought from professionals who specialize in teaching about sex and relationships.
What goals do you have for 2023?
The second season of Open House: The Great Sex Experiment is coming out and I would like to film a third and write a book to go along with it.
I am also starting a woman’s circle with my sister and would like to have another series for TV. In addition I hope to have another great season of the A to Z of Sex podcast and get two more books finished that are in progress. Finally, I have a goal to get my VIP group and event running again as I stopped during the pandemic.
Follow Dr. Bisbey on her Twitter @drbisbey, Instagram @drbisbey, TikTok @loribethuk, Facebook @drloribethbisbey, and YouTube @LoriBisbey.
