Discretion and Education for the Kink Crowd
By Peter Berton
TUCSON, Ariz. – There are people who dip their toes into the BDSM pool, and then there are those who dive in with all the gear, toys and apparatus they can find.
Even those who take the plunge from the high dive usually don’t want their uptight neighbors to know. That’s why there are online retailers like CasualKink. CK sells bondage gear, electrical toys and insertables, among other things. All purchases are shipped discretely, according to owner June.
“We don’t just sell,” June said. “We are a part of the BDSM/kink community. We get out and speak to groups as much as we can in order to educate and promote a healthier sex life.”
YNOT.com asked for more information.
YNOT: When and why did you start the company?
June: I started CasualKink in 2009 as a way to provide devices and toys to kink fetishists and lifestylers. Everything I’d seen up to that point of any quality was only sold at kink community events, and even then there wasn’t much variety. So, I decided to invest and put together a marketplace that would cater mainly to the kink crowd.
A friend of mine who runs an adult website called GirlJuice.net started featuring some of her models using the products I sell. This gave me the boost I needed to break into the market. We had plans to work more with GirlJuice, but not much ever came of it.
What makes CK different from other adult stores?
Unlike a lot of sex toy stores, we cater mainly to the kink community and aren’t afraid to offer unusual devices.
We learned fairly early on that for a lot of online shoppers, simply browsing our product line was a little intimidating, which is why we put so much of our resources into answering questions and general product support. We also spend a good amount of time out in the community fielding questions about the lifestyle.
What separates CasualKink from other BDSM retailers, in a word, is “switch.” For those who aren’t familiar with the lifestyle, switch is a term used to describe someone who can both direct and serve.
As an organization, CasualKink is a true switch. We manufacture our own stainless steel products and corsets so we can lead in terms of innovating new devices. But we also take on the service role just as comfortably.
We understand BDSM as a form of expression. A very large percentage of couples connect with power exchange and are able to bond that much more with it. Then again, we know the average couple is never going to need a urethral dilator kit or chastity cage. It’s all about bonding. So, we carry oils and lotions to enhance intimacy.
Would you call yourself an expert about BDSM?
Yes. We get all sorts of questions. Some are about BDSM; others about ways to better one’s sex life.
The anonymity of the internet helps to facilitate open and frank discussion, even if it’s just about decent-fitting condoms. A poor-fitting condom on a man is like a really bad bra on a woman. The vast majority of people walk around thinking that’s how things just are when they can be so much better.
The truth is, most of the products we carry are unusual and designed to help one experience something new — to remove you from your usual sex life and place you in a different headspace so you’re open to suggestion and receptive to new experiences.
The most potent sex organ you have really is your mind. And guess what? We carry condoms for that.
What is the biggest misconception people have about BDSM?
I guess the biggest misconception about BDSM is that it can only be dark. There is that element to it and you should certainly be aware of it, but it’s merely a way to express yourself.
You’ll learn a lot about yourself and it’ll take you places you’ve never been. Bottom line: It’s sexual exploration, and it’s fun.
Has BDSM become mainstream?
Very much so. It’s not just all whips and chains anymore. As the younger generation embraces this sexual frontier, we’re all being exposed to new things that a few years ago wouldn’t have been considered part of BDSM. Cupping, for example, tracing, things that turn people on are now being shared under the “safety” of BDSM.
Sounds like BDSM is really catching on.
I’ve seen exponential growth. There are many new people coming to BDSM events and trying to learn about it. It’s really an amazing time.
As far as the future? We plan to serve our friends in the community for as long as we can. We’re branching out. We even have plans to support a podcast that educates on the subject of kink. We’re also designing and manufacturing our own line of stainless steel sex toys. These toys bring a new twist to BDSM enthusiasts and still lend themselves to the milder couples just interested in adding a little spice to their bedrooms.
We’re also starting to manufacture our own corsets. This new product line will include plus sizes and feature leather, patent leather, and lace, steel-boned garments designed to shock but still compliment and shape.
What has the business taught you?
I guess the one thing I’ve learned is about sexual repression. Being based in the U.S., I’m shocked about how reticent we are sexually through the generations and how by mere proximity we, in turn, repress others around us — in most cases, our own partners.
It’s just amazing to me that, by outward appearance, our culture can lead so well but internally carry such a backward mantra.