Darklady’s Men In Adult: Torn Rose
SATIRE, USA — Not merely encouraged but ultimately egged on by the success of my first exploration into the male and murky end of the adult entertainment industry’s employment pool, I have chosen to wade back into the muck of that not-so-deep-thick-or-long-as-it-claims demographic to learn more about the mysterious thing known as Men in Adult.This time around, we’re moving to the front of the camera to find out what kind of man will degrade himself sexually just to make a little money and get a little attention, in spite of the copious opportunities available to men who choose to keep their clothing on. Allow me to introduce you to Torn Rose.
QUICK FACTS:
Eyes: Blue. Ice blue when pissed.
Hair: What’s left is blue, but naturally blond.
Best Body Part:Ass and eyes, according to his wife.
Favorite Color: Green today; purples and blues on another day.
Favorite Flower: Roses. Living in Portland means lots of amazing roses.
Favorite Song: “Hurt” by Johnny Cash. An amazing performance that gives me goose bumps.
Confidence Building Garment: Not that into fashion, which is obvious when people see what I wear. I wear clothes to stay warm and cover myself in public. To me there is no other purpose, but I am most comfortable in a football jersey. I am not sure if that would be the same as confidence since my teams historically lose the big games.
Underwear: None. I hardly ever wear anything. Maybe five times a year and I hate it each and every time I do it.
How long have you been involved in the adult internet?:We started working on our site around October 1999 and went live January 2000, so we missed the “golden age” by at least a year.
What did you do prior to working in the adult internet?: I was working in a factory that made magnet wire when we started our site. I started working there in December 1996 after serving in the US Navy from 1990 to 1993 and then various odd jobs from 1993 to 1996. I even trained to be a professional wrestler from 1997 to 1999. I quit working at the factory in June 2002 and actually gave my notice when they offered me a promotion.
I had planned to give my notice that fall anyway, but when they offered me the promotion something in me “snapped” and I realized I could be stuck there forever, so I gave up a secure future, great insurance and guaranteed money on a whim and have worked full time in porn since, I still get a laugh when I remember the look on the face of the shift supervisor when he offered me the promotion and after about five seconds of thought I said “I quit.”
Working in the adult industry is the longest job I have ever had and I can never see myself doing anything else again.
What jobs have you performed while working within the adult internet?: Man, so many I do not remember them all. I have arranged a few parties large and small, I have helped work some booths at some shows, I ran a few smaller sites of various ideas and concepts, I helped test a few cam networks while they was still in beta, I was an assistant cameraman and 2nd cameraman in the Raven Riley movie Succubus, I have done webmaster work, link list, tgps editing video and pictures, I assisted shooting a promo with Ron Jeremy, I have done three professional porn shoots as a stunt cock and I am sure there is more there somewhere that I am over looking or forgot completely. Really, I just do what needs to be done if I can, if I can’t do it I get someone who can.
What are you doing currently?: Currently I still run our main site, KatVixen.com, everything from performing to finding other talent to taking the pictures and video to editing, to customer support and anything else I think needs to be done that I can still do. I used to do the designs as well but I sucked at it, and realized it’s much easier to pay someone to do exactly what I want done then spend a week trying to figure it out on my own. Also for the past two years I have been the CMS manager for jaYManCash so I make sure Raven Riley is updated on time. We have also been discussing some new ideas, which is
all I can/will say for now.
What was it about the industry that attracted you? What keeps you involved?: LOL. The sex! Sorry, I have a huge sex drive; I just love women to death, so the main reason would be the sex. But I think freedom to do what I want is a huge factor as well. I can wear what I want, say what I want, and not have to worry that this will offend someone or that my clothes are not professional looking, etc. But after almost eight years, I think this is all I know any more, so what else would I do? Go back to the “real world?” I don’t think so. I am much more comfortable in the adult community then I ever was in mainstream America.
Have you ever found your gender to be a hindrance to your professional success?: Yes many times. They won’t use me in lesbian sex scenes. As we speak, I am in contact with my lawyer about filing a sexual discrimination lawsuit. I expect to win millions.
Do you feel that adult industry career options for men have increased or decreased over the years?: I am not sure I like this question — or I am not sure I understand the question as asked. If anything, IMHO, women are the minority and not men. When I go to the shows I see a lot of the same people over and over from the past shows, and most of them are men, very few are female, and the few females I do see over and over are not talent, or they are former talent who work behind the scenes now. So, from my point of view, there are more men than women in the adult industry, so there is no increase or decrease, this is just the way it has always been from my POV.
Do you feel that your hard work as a performer is rewarded fairly when compared to that of women doing similar work?I’m not sure I like this question either. I cannot do what a woman does and she cannot do what I do, so how can we be compared to each other? The porn I make is focused towards men who love to see women fuck. I am nothing more than a stunt cock who is there as a prop. We do not do “plots” so we just show what we do in our real lives. We do not try and convince anyone we are something we are not, so I do not see how I can compare what I do vs. what the women I work with do. It is not the same thing at all. And even if it was comparable, I got laid, so who cares if I get credit?
Have you ever been emotionally or sexually objectified while working in adult?:I think I just did that to myself in the last answer. Very few, if any, of our members are our members due to me. I could leave KatVixen.com today and no one would care. If Toni KatVixen left I think I would be forced to close down the site. We have content of me and other women on the site, but that is just more of “this is what we do in our real life, so here it is on camera.” I am not a star at all, I am just an object. I can stay hard on camera and at times shoot a great long distance load, other than that no one cares if I am there or not, they want to see her boobs and her doing the nasty stuff with anyone, man or woman.
Since your work is of an overtly sexual nature, how to do protect yourself emotionally and maintain your self esteem?Well, emotions are not a factor for me since I see this as what it is; it is just sex and nothing more. I am married to Toni KatVixen and, of course, she and I love each other, but we both know the difference between “making love,” “having sex,” and “fucking.” I do not think we ever “made love” on camera. That is our own personal thing that is not shared with anyone. We constantly “have sex” and “fuck” each other and others on camera, but that is all it is. There are no emotions other then the “sweet emotion” of the sex itself. (Sorry, I have Aerosmith playing on my ipod and couldn’t resist.)
Given how many women work in the industry, how has being in the minority gender affected you?:Again, I disagree with this question/idea that men are the minority. From a talent POV they are, but female talent come and go so fast that I don’t see how they would be the majority. For every 100 female talents in the industry, I bet less than five make it past five years in the business — and how many program owners and producers have been around since “back in the day?”
Of course this is all based on my POV and should not be taken as absolute fact, just my opinion.
Have you ever felt pressured into doing anything sexually that you weren’t comfortable with?:No, not sexually, I am a firm believer that “no” means “no” and not “talk me into it, I will cave in.” The only thing that comes to mind of doing something we did not want to do was the third and final professional shoot we did four years ago. We were told to act out a plot, when the then shoots we had done with them just the year prior was “just fucking” and no story. They did not inform us prior to the shoot that we had lines or even that we needed to bring certain clothes with us, so we walked in wearing typical summer Florida clothes — and I needed to be dressed in a suit and tie! So they dressed me in what clothes they could find around the studio, none of which fit me or even matched, and had my college educated wife acting like she was completely stupid. Had we known about this prior, we would have said no, but we agreed to do it and gave our word, so we did it. We have not done a professional shoot since and have no plans to do another. This still ticks me off to this day, it was very insulting, everything about that day was insulting, but it is what it is and we learned a lot that day, so we will not be in the position again.
Has being a Man in Adult affected your personal life?: Being a man has nothing to do with it, but being in the adult industry has cost me/us a lot of friends from our past. We use to have a small group of close friends and most everyone knew we were swingers and was OK with that, but when we started our site they all completely stopped hanging with us. It was like we were branded with a huge scarlet letter and just being around us would have made them outcasts. Even today we still see this from people not involved in the industry, we know a few people who are all “wow so cool you are a porn star” and yet, when it comes to social gatherings, they are too busy, or their kid just got sick, or… my favorite… “We can’t come out, my kid has homework.” I mean, how stupid do you think we are? You want to say you are friends with a porn star but when it comes time to social gatherings all the sudden you are busy? After three or four times of this you realize they just want to brag they know someone in porn and it has nothing to do with “you.” Like in the Sopranos episode where Toni is invited to join a ritzy country club and realizes the only reason he is there is because they want to rub elbows with the bad guy on the news and nothing more.
What stereotypes about men would you like to see done away with?: Some men seem to think that all men think alike. For some reason if there is a homophobic racist chauvinistic pig at a party, odds are he will feel the need to share his hate with me. I have never understood why he would think I would care about who or what he hates, or worse, why he thinks I would think the same way. This has happen to me at so many parties, both in the industry and out of the industry. I always know where a conversation is going when they look around the room, lower their voice and lean into me… Ugh.. Go find a new friend and take that shit elsewhere; I am so not into that.
Surrounded by so much estrogen, what do you do to take care of, nurture, and/or reward your masculine self after a long day in the porn mines?: Another question that I am not sure I can answer, since I am not surrounded by women all day. Unfortunately. After I do a shoot, I clean myself up, pick up the set, put the equipment away, and I either start downloading the content we just shot, or surf the net; it all depends on when we shoot and who/what we just shot. Having sex is not that hard of a job for me, it is fun and exciting each and every time.
What advice do you have for men who may be considering a career in the adult internet?: Check your ego at the door first thing and make sure you can perform in front of other men and on camera before you waste anyone’s time. Nothing’s worse than waiting on a guy trying to get himself hard when you are just wanting to get this done and have other things you need to do before you can
call it a day.
Also, be as gentle to the other talent as you can. Let them set the boundaries, talk to them prior to shooting on what they want and do not want and exactly how rough they want it. And do not think with your dick, think with your mind at all times. The person you are working with is human and needs to be respected and treated as such. And never shove anything anywhere, work it in… unless, of course, they ask you to shove it in; but even then make sure you both know prior what is going to happen. It makes working more fun and cuts out the drama.
What would you like all the women in adult to most understand about Men In Adult?: That their boobies really are that fun to look at and to play with when allowed… and not all men like shaved pussy. It really is OK to be different, so feel free to be different. Men will still like you since not everyone has the same taste, so stop trying to fit into everyone else’s idea of what you should be and be what you want to be.