PETERSON, KY — Mark Looy and the rest of the nice people associated with Kentucky’s Creation Museum and Answers for Genesis magazine don’t believe that evolution is a reality or that humans share a common ancestor with apes – but chances are excellent that they’re feeling like the uncles of monkeys now that the truth about Adam has been revealed unto them and the rest of the world.By Adam, of course, one means Eric Linden, the actor hired to portray the Bible’s original lemons-to-lemonade founding fore-fore-etc.-forefather in a 40-second clip shown to science suspicious patrons of Peterson KY’s hottest now attraction, the Creation Museum.

It came as a shock to the museum’s organizers and a sensation hungry mainstream press, that actor Linden has taken saucier professional roles prior to portraying the man whom the Jewish, Christian, and Muslim holy books hold half responsible for the “fall” of all humanity.

In addition to having the breath of life blown into his mouth by Jehovah, Linden has modeled clothing for the provocative SFX International clothing line, which has a logo designed to titillate the far and normal sighted alike while “Spreadin’ the love to others about the benefits and wonderment of adventuring out and seeking and indulging in the world’s International Treasures and Pleasures,” – something that is presumably out of synch with dinosaurs riding on Noah’s Ark or frolicking with cave children.

Making it all just that much more headline grabbingly scandalous, Linden registered BedroomAcrobat.com 18 months ago — and posed in a promotional t-shirt along with a transvestite. The site’s splash page now states “Just a quick FYI while the team here gets ready to launch the all new site: Eric Linden is not affilated (sic) with the content of this site in ANY way… and we wish him the best of luck! We are here as a comical, silly and extremist view of sex as a whole, not a porn site!! Relax and laugh a little… And if you are not a Bedroom Acrobat, that is you and your significant others problem, not mine! Thanks and check back soon.” A link refers prospective fans to the EricLinden.com site.

While officials at the Creation Museum have vowed to get to the bottom of matters while scrambling to salvage their clearer-than-clear/whiter-than-white reputation, Linden points out via the Associated Press, that “just because I’m Adam on the screen, that doesn’t man I’m Adam off the screen. What I do shouldn’t have anything to do with who they think Adam is.”

About the Creation Museum itself, the diplomatic Linden says on his site that it “is a wonderful place, that takes you thru space and time… And they show you another point of view that really needs to be heard, without force feeding you. You can simply walk through this amazing museum, and leave with your own opinion!!”

Along with the now-removed segment featuring the story of Adam, “this amazing museum” the CreationMuseum.org website says that visitors can expect 60,000 square feet of “Murals and realistic scenery, computer-generated visual effects, over fifty exotic animals, life-sized people and dinosaur animatronics, and a special-effects theater complete with misty sea breeze and rumbling seats.”

Ultimately, Linden’s own words may provide the most satisfying explanation for the tempest in a teapot. “Adam was the one who brought sin into the world,” he writes on his site, “and apparently I have brought it into the Creation Museum…”