By Peter Berton

OTTAWA – For the second time in as many weeks, the world has come face-to-face with a stark truth about Canadians and sex. Previously we learned entirely too much about the weird things Canadians search for on Google.

Now researchers have discovered Canadians lie about their porn-watching habits.

Really? People lie about watching porn? Who’d have suspected such a thing?

Forum Research phone-surveyed 1,624 randomly-selected Canadians 18 years of age or older about their viewing habits. Only one in eight admitted to viewing or purchasing pornography in the past year.

Twenty-six percent hung up the minute pornography was mentioned.

I’m not the only Canuck who is skeptical about the results.

“We pride ourselves as Canadians on our open-mindedness, but … it would appear there is substantial under-reporting of pornography use,” Forum Research President Lorne Bozinoff said. “While uncommon among females, certainly, it must be assumed that more than one quarter of Canadian males have encountered pornography in the past year.”

“Encountered pornography.” Now that’s a nice passive-aggressive, blame-averting Canadian phrase. “I didn’t buy that Penthouse, Martha. I encountered it at the store, and it followed me home.”

The one in eight Canadians who didn’t lie about their porn habits were primarily young, male, financially comfortable, non-religious and residents of Canada’s Pacific or Atlantic coasts.

Conversely, most of the the dishonest Canadians primarily were fundamentalist Christians and supporters of the right-wing Conservative party. These were the same people most likely to want laws blocking porn at the ISP level or, at the very least, require people to opt in to an unfiltered web experience.

The takeaway: Of 1,624 people surveyed, only 169 Canadians admitted they watch porn. And, in keeping with the polite Canadian approach to almost everything, the non-watchers are sorry to disappoint anyone. Not honest, but definitely sorry.