Calling All Virgins: Reality Show Promises a Celebrity Cherry Popper
LOS ANGELES, CA — Kevin Blatt is a man full of ideas. Some of them work, plenty of them don’t — or at least not the way he’d hoped. His latest idea involves 10 virgins, Jenna Jameson, Paris Hilton, and a reality show camera crew and audience.Virgin Territory is the latest brainchild to spring from Blatt’s mental nursery. According to advertisements slated to appear on billboards in Los Angeles and New York City’s Times Square, the reality show seeks men between the ages of 18 and 34 who have never had any intercourse-related sexual experiences. In other words: young male virgins.
Given that much of Blatt’s experience has been in the adult entertainment industry, he says a mouthful when he observes that “Finding virgins in NYC or Los Angeles is no easy task.”
The VirginTerritoryTheShow.com website doesn’t explain exactly how these men will be “medically-verified” as virgins, but it does assure the winner of the competition that he will have the chance to hand over his virginity “to a celebrity.”
Media buzz says there may be two celebrities, neither of whom are likely to be “medically-verified” as virgins any time soon. Paris Hilton, who has already had dealings with Blatt concerning her own sex tape, and soon-to-be unmarried modern porn empress Jenna Jameson are the names being bandied about as possible virgin killers for the show.
If the show’s website can be taken as any kind of authority, once the 10 men have been “verified as virgins,” they will be locked into a San Fernando Valley house, where they can not even sully their own bodies with their own lecherous hands. No word on spontaneous nighttime emissions, however.
A celebrity host will test the virgins on their knowledge of sex, as well as their ability and desire to cast off their man cherries while simultaneously remaining “Masters of their Domain,” which is presumably a clever way of saying that they can’t even jack off in the shower cuz the camera will catch every drop of DNA.
Virgins who can’t measure up will be “Prematurely Ejected” each week until the final virgin showdown takes place and viewers get their chance to drop a load of opinions on the cast via a 900-number. The winner will then become the loser, thanks to the caring ministrations of a “surprise celebrity” who, with the help of champagne, caviar, and 2257 compliant video memories, will become a man for television and web audiences alike to admire, envy, and possibly pity.
Virgins keen to try their reluctant purity against other virgins can submit a head shot, a body shot, and their favorite photo of themselves via the Virgin Territory website.