‘Cake Porn’ Priest Must Be Cited For Violations
By Anthony Naderstein
Special to YNOT
WASHINGTON HEIGHTS, N.Y. – Another week, another absolutely unforgivable outrage committed against performing talent by a cold-hearted fat-cat of the adult entertainment industry.
This time, the egregiously unsafe behavior was perpetrated by one George Passias, an obscure fetish porn producer who doubles as a Greek Orthodox priest. His position as a man of the cloth, far from being something that should inspire leniency and sympathy, only make his transgressions all the more irresponsible, disgusting and despicable.
Not only did Father Passias flagrantly disregard the physical wellbeing of what appears to be a slice of innocent pound cake by directing his lover to sit and tread upon on the helpless confection, it is quite apparent from the video footage no condoms, dental dams or other prophylactic measures were used during the shoot.
Accordingly, in addition to being publicly shamed and humiliated on the internet, losing his position at St. Spyridon Church and being immortalized in photos that make him look like some sort of walleyed psychopath, Passias must be substantially fined for his multiple violations of state law and well-established safety standards.
For many who have commented on the situation, the focus has been on the infidelity of Passias and his lover and co-star, Ethel Bouzalas, both of whom stepped out on their spouses in order to make the illicit “cake smothering” videos for which they are now infamous. While I agree it’s a terrible aspect of the story, zeroing in on the breaking of marriage vows diminishes the suffering of the cake, whose only real fault in all this was entering life as baked goods.
I can already hear the objections of the so-called “Free Speech Coalition,” representatives and allies of which no doubt will argue the cake was an adult, as if this is all that is required to prove the soon-to-be-flattened delicacy was a willing and consensual participant in this obscene display of deviant dessert dominance.
I wonder, when Passias and Bouzalas first approached the cake with their indecent proposal, were they up-front about the kind of aberrant sex acts in which they intended to involve the unsuspecting slice of sugary goodness? Did they tell the cake they would make him a star, that he’d see his likeness in lights brighter and more glamorous than the humble bulbs that illuminated his bakery-counter home?
Some people point to the fact the slice appears to be contained in a plastic sandwich bag as rebuttal to my assertion about the lack of prophylactics used during filming, but as any doctor or unplanned parent can tell you, sandwich baggies are not an acceptable substitute for a proper condom. Plus, if you look closely at the footage, it appears as though some of the smashed cake’s viscera escapes from the seams of the bag, further emphasizing the insufficiency of the protection supplied to the performer.
I also don’t want to hear the tired refrain claiming the adult industry’s testing protocols mitigate the need for pastry performers to wear condoms. In this case, we don’t have evidence the cake harbors a circulatory system, much less blood to draw for the purpose of testing. Furthermore, unlike a human performer, there’s no evidence pound cake responds to antibiotic treatments in any way other than developing a peculiar taste.
While it’s not entirely clear any New York government agency has the authority to fine Passias for his violations, the health-and-safety watchdog New York Must But-In (NYMBI) has vowed to lobby local officials and start a petition drive similar to the one that led California to adopt the unarguably necessary, life-saving, condom-mandating, lawsuit-riddled legislation that now regulates what’s left of the adult industry in California.
Once his richly deserved punishment has been completely levied against him, whether or not it includes fines from NY OSHA or a similar authority, hopefully the story of this defrocked debaucher will help prevent other pious pornographers and bawdy bakers from similarly abusing any performing pastries they employ.
While I deplore cake-sitting on ethical and humanitarian grounds, there may be no way to ban the practice outright, given that Congress lacked the foresight to add baked goods as a protected class under the Animal Crush Video Prohibition Act.
What we can and must do, however, is assure pornographers, priestly and otherwise, are held to account when they treat their pieces of cake like mere pieces of ass.
Workplace safety activist Anthony Naderstein is the Executive Director of Californians for Arbitrary and Selective Paternalism (CASP).