By Erika Icon

YNOT – Buck Angel is many things, but the word most often used to describe him is “controversial.” The female-to-male transsexual, or transman, proudly describes himself as “the man with a pussy.” Almost frighteningly intelligent and insightful, he’s a vocal community activist; an award-winning performer, director and producer; a frequent motivational speaker. He makes some people crazy because he refuses to be pigeonholed; others are uncomfortable with his straightforward, unapologetic approach to…well, almost everything.

A few believe he’s dangerous, which may be why he received death threats when he spoke at Yale last year.

Behind the scenes, Angel is witty, engaging and self-deprecating. He spoke with YNOT about coming to grips with his sexuality and his great passions: community outreach and mentoring other transmen so they know they’re not alone.

YNOT: The transman concept is difficult for many people to grasp. In fact, you found grappling with your sexuality a bit challenging for awhile, didn’t you?

Buck Angel: I was born female and underwent a sex-change to become a man. My change consisted only of having top surgery — chest surgery to remove my breasts — but I have retained my vagina. I learned that having a vagina didn’t prevent me from becoming the man I always wanted to be. I became self-confident and sexually comfortable with my vagina. That was a really big deal, because previously I had always hated it. I was told I would never be a “real man” because of it.

You were a successful high-fashion model prior to becoming a transman. What was that world like?

Oh my God. I hated it so much because they would dress me up and put makeup on me. People ask, “Then why did you do it?” Well, the opportunity was there, and I saw money and I saw drugs. The work took me to Europe and back. I was a huge drug addict and alcoholic because I was so unhappy living as a female.

In the course of that work, I fell deeper into my addiction and also my hatred for my body and myself. I just wanted to be man. Being told how pretty I was all the time was just lighting the fuse for me to hate myself more. The one great thing is that it caused me to hit bottom faster, so that I could then start my recovery.

If you could give advice someone who’s thinking of making the transition from female to male, what’s the most important thing you’d tell them?

So much has changed from when I did my change 20 years ago. There is so much more support and information, which is just amazing. But the one thing I would tell someone is this: If you are planning any kind of hormone therapy or surgery, think about it long and hard first to make sure that is the right path for you. I am a big advocate for getting into therapy first, before taking any other action. My therapist saved my life and helped me to find the path that was right for me.

How did you get into the adult industry?

I was working behind the scenes in the adult entertainment business with a transsexual woman, and one day I realized there was no representation of transsexual men in the adult industry. So, I started producing my own line of films. In 2007, I won AVN Transsexual Performer of the Year, and to this day I am still the only transman to be nominated or win. I guess the rest is history, as they say.

Your movie Sexing the Transman has been shown around the world and was well received. What prompted you to make that movie?

I actually have two different things going on with that. One is the mainstream documentary that has been in film festivals and screenings around the globe. I also have a docu-porn series. Sexing the Transman Volume 3 has just been released. All of the products include interviews with transmen and some graphic sexual content, but of course the adult version has more of the latter. These films are a way to talk about sex and gender and enlighten people. They’ve worked, and I’m pretty blown away by the fantastic feedback the films have received.

I’m just one man with one story. But everybody out there has their own, and I wanted to have a forum to present more of them in the guys’ own words. I have been so fascinated by how the transition from female to male affects people’s sexuality in different ways. For example, many guys, before their changes, are attracted only to women. It’s common that with their transitions, and sometimes the use of testosterone, many of these guys start to become sexually attracted to men.

I also wanted to make a different kind of documentary about transmen. I’ve seen quite a few that focus just on the transition process. You know how people are often reluctant to talk openly about sex. So, I saw a way to do this and allow people to have an intimate view inside the transitions of different FTM guys.

Last year, you started a transman dating site, BuckAngelDating.com. How’s that going? Are you getting a good response?

Oh wow, it blew up! I had a feeling it was about time for such a thing to be available. I have been working with Dating Factory, and they are awesome. They have been super-accommodating and professional to help make this a positive experience for everyone. Prior to the project, the Dating Factory representatives were not familiar with transmen, so they had to add new categories for me, and they have been willing to do whatever else it takes.

The site is a huge success all the way around. My customers are meeting people and thanking me. It totally takes the issue out of when or how to disclose someone’s trans status, because it is already all out in the open. I had a guy who lived in some small town who said he couldn’t meet anyone there because the locals do not know about his change. So he was excited to get a chance to meet guys who were interested in transmen. He has since hooked up with someone and they’re having a blast together. That just makes me so happy.

For six years, you’ve been working on a documentary about your life. Why has the project taken so long?

It’s called Mr. Angel and it just got accepted by South by Southwest festival for the world premiere. The film has taken so long to shoot because we had a hard time finding funding, and none of the big networks like HBO or Showtime were ready for something like it. I think they couldn’t see past the fact that I’ve been a “porn star.” But the documentary only touches on a small part of that.

You know, I think the long duration it took to shoot has made the result a much stronger film. You can really see the growth of my work and influence, as well as the world coming to accept me as more than just a pornographer.

What is the most misunderstood thing about you?

People don’t know that I am just a mellow, down-to-earth guy who wants to make the world a better place for all of us.

You do a lot of community outreach and public service announcements about health issues to help transsexuals, GLBT people and women. Have you seen positive results from your efforts?

So much! It has been amazing, especially in the trans world. Like I said earlier, the trans movement is exploding, and with that exposure comes greater knowledge and acceptance.

What appearances, events or projects do you have coming up?

Oh, there’s so many. I traveled like crazy this past year, so I spent all of January at home, which was great. But in the coming months I will be in Calgary and Thunder Bay in Canada doing film screenings and speaking engagements. In March I will be in Austin for the SXSW premiere, and then in Dallas to shoot some more for Volume 4 of my docu-porn series Sexing The Transman XXX. Those are my best selling movies by far.

Then I head to Los Angeles in April for more filming. I’m also going to be in a mainstream short film. And I have signed on with zBUCKz to produce a new members site — adults only — which will be ready soon. I have some other great projects in the works, as well, including some sex toys and other health-related products. Oh, yeah — and also a book.

How can people find you?

My mainstream website is BuckAngelEntertainment.com. My personal website is BuckAngel.com. I’m also on Twitter, Facebook and LinkedIn.