Are You Arrogant or Humble? Guarding Yourself from Yourself
By Connor Young
YNOT – The online adult entertainment industry has travelled a long path since its rise to prominence in the late 20th Century. We are not today the industry we were just one decade ago. I will leave to others to argue whether the changes have been a positive evolution for a popular industry, or a steady descent into the deepest caverns of business hell. There are valid arguments for many different views here.
One thing remains constant, though: This industry, for whatever reason, has a real problem with hubris.
The ancient Greeks gave great thought to the crime of hubris. The term can refer to a number of behaviors, including one taking an interest in the humiliation of others. Need examples? See your local Internet chat board. Often when we speak of hubris today, we mean a kind of dangerous arrogance that can lead even otherwise good people to tragic consequences. This brand of hubris can blind you to the problems that you create for yourself through the statements you make, the narratives you present and the actions you pursue.
It may just be part of the industry culture, but it’s worth considering: Many personalities on the message boards and industry networking channels feel compelled to present themselves as “bigger” than they really are — and by “bigger,” I mean more powerful, more financially well off and more politically connected. In fact, few individuals working in the adult space can really make these claims with any veracity. So that means most of the boasters are simply liars, believing they will profit from a false narrative, either through financial gains or through social gains. Sometimes it works … for a while. But usually, even the most clever individuals who pursue this approach with tenacity suffer from excessive arrogance and fatal hubris, and eventually they wind up digging their own graves.
We all fight with hubris from time to time. Few of us are fully immune. Allow hubris to take too much control over your choices, however, and you’ll eventually back yourself into a corner. This can happen simply because you’re accustomed to outsmarting or outwitting people for too long a time. The more you spin false narratives that others believe, the more you start to think of yourself as too clever to catch. The more you succeed in lies, the more you start to think of everyone else as too dimwitted or too naïve ever to see the truth. This is when you’re at extreme risk of exposing yourself as a liar and manipulator. You can destroy your name and reputation in a matter of hours when you are blinded by your own arrogance born of past successes.
Hubris isn’t just a problem in the adult industry, of course, and sometimes it helps to consider problems from a distance.
I remember shaking my head in disgust as Frank and Jamie McCourt took over the Los Angeles Dodgers baseball team a few years back. To me, their love of media spin and manipulation showed a fundamental lack of respect for the fans. But their marketing narratives seemed to be fully justified in the first few years of their ownership, as their reputation in Los Angeles seemed untarnished by their actions, and the rich and powerful from Southern California seemed eager to call them friends.
But arrogance eventually caught up with the McCourts, and fans turned against them when they started to feel duped. The normal PR spin wasn’t working to bring back lost revenue, and ticket sales plunged. Eventually, Major League Baseball worked to secure their promised exit from the sport. It can be argued today that Frank McCourt is the most hated individual in Los Angeles Dodgers history.
Had I warned Frank McCourt about hubris before his eventual downfall, I’m guessing he would have pointed to all the success he had achieved early on with his chosen approach to business. And at that time, it would have been really hard to argue against the results. Today the cost is clear as he prepares for his departure from the owner’s seat.
So what’s my point? Just to offer some friendly advice to webmasters, affiliates, sales reps, talent, and anyone else who takes to the public forums of the Internet on a regular basis. Work to keep yourself in check. Shy away from letting false narratives take over your public image. Remember that for the vast majority of you, you’re not a huge player or financial powerhouse, even if you’ve done reasonably well in adult.
Humility may not be fashionable, but it’s an important quality for long-term success.
Connor Young is the president of Houston, Texas-based YNOT Group LLC.