Mark this under “completely unsurprising news.” As literally thousands of people around the world die every day from the new coronavirus, one might think that people jerking off to sexy images, videos, and live-streams might seem like somewhat small potatoes. But, about two months into the global spread of the virus, anti-porn crusaders are getting quite upset about the uptick in porn-watching that’s happening while millions are quarantined at home.

In an article on the topic, Elizabeth Nolan Brown at Reason.com wrote, “The possibility that more people are possibly watching more porn has modern culture warriors doubling down on their calls for censoring adult entertainment.” 

For example, wrote Brown, a spokesperson for the National Center on Sexual Exploitation (NCOSE)—formerly known as Morality in Media—called Pornhub’s initiative to provide free Premium content to folks affected by Covid-19 back in March a “demonic deal.”

Then, when Pornhub reported a spike in traffic as lockdowns went into affect around the world, the Family Research Council—a “Christian public policy ministry”— wailed, “These pornography sites try to lure people and trap them into viewing this stuff while they’re sitting around.” Nefarious indeed, to provide people with entertainment and a healthy outlet for their sexual urges while they’re at home, terrified and alone!

By early April, a columnist for the Sioux City Journal wrote, “As the country focuses on…COVID-19, there is another public health crisis that continues under the radar and is just as infectious and damaging to individuals, families, and our children.” They were, of course, referring to pornography, though we wonder where they got their information from. Last we checked, porn was in fact much less damaging. We haven’t heard about anybody dying from porn use recently. 

But it’s not just traditional porn that has these keyboard warriors upset. Performers making their own content is just as bad, according to Charlie Peters (which sounds like a porn name, honestly) at The American Conservative, who called “the sudden growth of OnlyFans” a “ghastly” trend. 

Meanwhile, 80-year-old Christian author and evangelist Josh McDowell was quoted by Patheos.com as saying that porn “Is, right at this moment, destroying…more marriages, more people’s lives, more relationships than any one thing has ever done simultaneously in history.” McDowell also called porn “by far the greatest cancer ever to the church.” 

Wow. I guess he thinks that thousands of church members dying from the virus that’s keeping them at home and watching porn isn’t as great a threat. I don’t know why he thinks that, but to each their own, I suppose.

I’m not surprised to hear about how upset conservatives, Christians, and other anti-porn crusaders are about the mere idea of people watching smut while they’re stuck at home. Honestly, in a time when people have been risking their lives to protest their inability to get their hair done, I guess the fact that other folks are sitting at home fuming about people enjoying making and consuming pornography is to be expected.

Still. What a yawn.

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