HARROW, ENGLAND — Owners and managers of sexy retail shops find themselves apologizing for a lot of things – but few find themselves needing to apologize for the naughty conduct of the letters in their window displays. Nonetheless, that’s precisely what the Ann Summers novelty and lingerie chain has found itself doing.
At issue is the salacious behavior of the letter “l” in the word “sale” that appears in a sign hanging in the Harlequin shopping center in Watford.

Below the wicked “l” is the phrase “get excited.”

According to Kevin Gooch, who now worries about the moral development of his son, the toppish “l” and the bottomish “get excited” are engaging in the kind of activity that should be kept behind closed doors. Perhaps even with the threat of an eraser nearby to keep them from getting too out of hand.

Outraged by the horny alphabet, Gooch wrote to the Harrow Times demanding that the City Council toss legislative cold water on the horny letters, explaining that “I was surprised and somewhat shocked to see Ann Summers displaying a pair of open lips with a five foot erect penis just about to enter into them.”

Further, Gooch observed that “I feel this sends a very strong message. I do not want my young children to be subjected to this kind of subliminal messaging when going shopping.”

As a faithful steward of the public morality, Susan Hall, deputy leader of the Harrow council responded by suggesting a display change. In order to assure Ann Summers’ staff that she’s not a prude, she admitted that “Most people realize the nature of the Ann Summers business, so you are frankly a bit naïve if you go inside and are suddenly shocked by the fact they sell sex products.”

Hall feels that standards for a shop window facing a public street are a different matter, however.

“The lips image is an obviously suggestive one,” she pointed out, “and not even Mary Poppins would think it doesn’t refer to a sex act.”

Mary Poppins aside, the 132 store strong retailer has no intention of changing its shop window, especially since the sale sign in question has been used for nearly four years – and its representatives insist that they have not received the Council’s letter.

“We have spoken to our retail team who are unaware of any prior complaints in the Watford and Harrow area,” the Daily Mail quotes a chain spokeswoman as saying.

Further, the unnamed rep explained that “We aim to have fun in what we do without offending. However, we do take our role seriously and apologize if we have offended the customer in question and what he has interpreted from our window.”