I often marvel at how well Amazon knows me, sometimes to the point of being uneasy – How did Amazon know that?! — and I know I’m not the only one.

There is something about the maths and the science and the coming together of said maths and science deep inside the computer that enables Amazon to know what you want, many times even before you yourself do. And though it’s often a bit creepy when Amazon knows I need to reorder dog food before I even go there, I appreciate it.

So, given all this, why are people so pissed that Amazon knows what your dad wants for Christmas? Maybe because what Amazon “knows your dad wants” is porn.

Amazon UK recently recommended a DVD of “Dad is Fucking My Girlfriend” – a 2012 title from Combat Zone starring Brooklyn Lee, who did some great stuff in the industry at one point, and a bunch of other people — in users’ searches for “Dad gifts.” I mean, a lot of people really loved Lee back when she was performing. Many of those people are probably also dads. As a gift, why not?

The Sun reported that “The DVD – which was sold by a third-party seller called Meerkat Wholesalers – popped up on screen when you typed ‘dad gifts’ into the search bar,” adding that the recommendation shocked customers who were looking for gifts online.

“Shocked” – really?

Image via The Sun.

According to The Sun, one man who stumbled upon the recommendation expressed fear that his kids could have also found the product while browsing on Amazon.

“In amongst the usual stuff like BBQ utensils, car manuals, gardening gift sets and funny T-shirts which say ‘Grumpy old git’ or ‘No 1 dad’ novelty mugs was this sex film… I only typed in ‘Dad Gifts’ into the search menu. I wasn’t expecting something so explicit to turn up,” he said.

“My two kids go on Amazon a lot to look for toys and ideas for presents to write on their letter to Father Christmas. I hate to think what would have happened if they’d found this DVD themselves.”

Why would kids searching “Dad Gifts” when doing research for their own letters to “Father Christmas”? I digress…

“Amazon should be far more responsible with its listings,” the man continued. “Anything pornographic needs to be removed immediately.”

Here’s the thing: Maybe through some trick of tagging and one’s own search history, that “shocking” DVD came up as a possibility. By the power of the maths and the science, Amazon knows you buddy!

In response to complaints, Amazon said: “All sellers must follow our selling guidelines and those who don’t will be subject to action including potential removal of their account. The product in question is no longer available.”

Industry luminary Don Houston wrote about the film: “‘Dad Is Fucking My Girlfriend’…had some pretty decent technical values and the scene starring hotty Brooklyn Lee was enough to depart from completely generic stroke fodder. The other three scenes were not nearly as interesting despite the ladies providing full service, if mechanically inspired, performances so few of them lived up to their potential.” Not exactly glowing.

Maybe what Amazon was pissed about was that their algorithm didn’t select a better-reviewed or more contemporary title? I guess we will never know.

Image via Valber Cortez.