MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA — Australian politicians and censors may have an uneasy relationship with sexuality, but the country’s citizens seem fully capable of not merely accepting that sex – and an impressive array of commercially available sex products – not only exist, but can be fun. Funny, even. Robert Johns and Laurelle Bates innocently walked out of their rural Darwin area home early February 6th, thinking that it would be just another Friday drive to work. Instead, they discovered 30 abandoned sex toys on their lawn.

“It’s a real mystery,” Bates observed to The Northern Territory News, without even a hint of trauma from exposure to the devices. “We have no idea where they came from. I know they aren’t new. They look used.”

Although the couple doesn’t know where the toys came from, they have a pretty good idea where they’re going since the original 30 had dropped within 24 hours of their discovery.

“Yeah, some of the bigger ones are gone,” Johns acknowledged.

Still others have managed to fall beneath the wheels of passing vehicles. Vehicles driven along what apparently amused locals have renamed “Dildo Boulevard.”

“I just cracked up,” explained the woman who made the street sign name change. “It was very entertaining,”

Would that all the world could be so objective on the subject of sex toys.