800K Free Porn Users Now Question Their Own Judgment
MONTREAL – In the wake of the revelation nearly 800,000 user accounts for popular porn tube site SmutNucleus have been compromised, this morning users of the site’s forum section found themselves retroactively questioning their own judgment.
“Anybodies can watch videos on this site, with or w/out un and pw,” wrote the user with the screen name BigFuzzyNads42. “Y oh y did I set up account? Just to post comment about girl with nice tit, or crazy-big penis man? Now boss are find out I jerk to vidz game pornos, too. Huge embarrassment and anger about this.”
Roy Ceek, a security researcher and founder of the website I Can Haz Hackburger verified the breach by logging in using several dozen different users’ accounts and posting false confessions of embarrassing secrets on their behalf.
“This hack is definitely real,” Ceek said. “I set up some macho prick who calls himself ‘BitchinCamaro72’ with a nice new Strawberry Shortcake profile pic and a status update that says ‘Still pretending not to be gay,’ just to confirm the breach gave full permissions and access to the affected accounts. Then I changed his password, so he’s stuck with that shit now. Beautiful, right?”
Some SmutNucleus users aren’t too worried about the breach, saying they’re always careful to avoid including in their account profiles any personal details that could be connected back to them,
“I always use a throwaway email address when I unnecessarily sign up for accounts on sites I could use without setting up an account at all,” said SmutNucleus user William H. Rodgers, a 21-year-old student at the Cambridge School of Culinary Arts in Massachusetts who asked not to be identified, but fuck him.
“This is just the risk you run using the internet,” Rodgers added. “If you want to troll people on porn site forums and post horribly offensive racist comments that could get you disowned, dumped or kicked out of school, it’s always possible it can come back to bite you if you’re not careful, like me. So long as my parents, girlfriend and school don’t find out about this, it’s all good.”
Mark Nombrefalso, a spokesperson for SmutNucleus, blamed the breach on third-party software used by the forum and said the issue “has been completely solved, thoroughly rectified and entirely dealt with” by the top-notch SmutNucleus IT team.
“SmutNucleus is in no way responsible for this breach,” Nombrefalso said. “This unfortunate occurrence is consistent with an incident from several years ago with our SmutNucleoForum, which occurred due to a vulnerability in a message board script called CyberScapegoat 2.0, not in SmutNucleus itself. That being said, we are still taking precautionary measures to make sure the next time this happens, we have a different third-party software in place on which we can plausibly pin the blame.”
Ceek said while it’s natural and to be expected for SmutNucleus to downplay the seriousness of the breach, the fact the accounts affected are forum accounts makes the hack arguably more concerning than if it were merely password information for a subscription porn site.
“When it’s just a porn site membership, all you really find out is the person has interest in sexually explicit material, which might be a little embarrassing, but doesn’t really tell you much about the account holder,” Ceek said. “With access to someone’s forum account, you can quickly find out a great deal about them, including things as private and personal as whether they prefer to insult other users by calling them ‘asshats,’ ‘fucktards,’ or ‘douchenozzles,’ a choice that obviously reveals a great deal about someone’s character, upbringing and educational background.”
Adult industry anti-piracy activist and service provider Bart Vaso said the breach is “just one more reason for users to avoid tube sites like the plague,” but he doubts the hack will lead to any decline in their popularity.
“So long as porn surfers continue to look at paying for porn as something only ‘suckers’ do and reject subscription websites in favor of dicey ‘user-generated-content’ platforms that indiscriminately distribute pirated materials for profit, I don’t give the proverbial rat’s ass if their privacy gets violated on a daily fucking basis,” Vaso said. “Here’s an idea: Get a goddamn job, move out of your mother’s basement and start paying for your porn like a real, respectable consumer, you cheap fucks.”